Need feedback with my sketch.

[Lovsey]

@hakepe I love your quality of line, it has a lot of nice movement This is a good drawing and I could perhaps give more constructive feedback if I knew a bit more about what you were trying to convey but I have a few points to bring up that could help.
The big one is that I’m not really sure what is happening in this scene and it is mainly because of the central character’s pose. Is she falling over the dog? At first I thought she was about to take off running with the dog because of their playful expressions but her posture is leaning too far back, in a squat/side lunge kind of way and looks like she is about to launch sideways over the dog (onto something soft like a bed or sofa because her expression communicates that she’s feeling happy about it). I now think the dog is laying down because it’s so close to the ground but he also looks a bit like he’s in a leaping posture so I’m unsure at this stage.

My mind is quite confused about the way they are positioned so close in the space, I can’t figure out their relationship to each other and what was happening in the moment before this for them to intersect inches away from on another like this on the path.
Also, her facial features seem too big for her face, she needs a bit more cheek space on her right side for balance.
Despite the action happening right beside him, the man seems to be looking past it all. Is he holding a ball in his hand? I would make it more obvious if so..and if not I would do something else with his hand because my eye follows his pointing finger out of the frame.

[hakepe]

@Lovsey Thank you for the feedback. Some good pointers there that I will look into and see if I can fix them.

[hakepe]

Testing out a few quick fixes. Would this work better? The idea is that this is a couple and their dog walking. The woman and the dog are usually the enthusiastic adventurous ones always plunging ahead. The man is more calm and following them.

[Lovsey]

@hakepe I think to demonstrate this particular story you need to push the man back more like this:

This shows that he has fallen behind and also suits the direction he is walking, following the curve of the path while the woman and dog are moving in the straight direction. When they are too close it looks like she is rudely cutting across a stranger. His gaze will need to be adjusted to look at them running ahead so that we know that he is connected to them.

[hakepe]

@Lovsey Thank you that makes a big difference. I was having such problems with this piece. Sometimes when I start a piece everything seems to go well and then other times... I just cannot seem to "feel it". Something is off, but I cannot pin point what it is. This helps a lot!

[Lovsey]

@hakepe Oh good, I’m glad I was able to help We’ve all been there - some pieces practically have to be wrestled out of the imagination!

[hakepe]

Here is my current stage. I think I am going to try to finnish this piece before it finnishes me Getting a bit annoyed with it really, feels like pulling teeth. Still a couple of things to fix like the dogs eyes (the expression is wrong). Going to fix that, then the final render and calling it done.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@hakepe perhaps you can move the dog forward such that he doesn't block the woman. Right now, because of the over lap, the dog looks like he's the woman's right foot.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@hakepe I took the liberty to redraw your piece. I don't know if you still want to fix this tho but here are my thoughts. I hope they're helpful.

[hakepe]

@Nyrryl-Cadiz Thank you for taking the time to draw over! This is super helpfull. I think I am going to try to fix the issues.

I think I might have avoided some of these problems if I had done more initial sketches and thumbnails in the early stages. Note to oneself "make more thumbnails". I started this piece as a sort of a portrait of the 3 then realized I needed a background to put them on. Should have planned this image better before starting. That is propobly why it has given me so much trouble.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@hakepe hi! so you were going for a portrait of them?

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@hakepe maybe you can just draw them standing together while one of them is holding the dog. or maybe both of them are doing the power pose and the dog is standing in between them.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@hakepe or maybe you can draw them all running forward with the dog in the lead.

[hakepe]

Here is the finished piece after many many corrections. Thank you all for your help and feed back. Now of to the next challenge of drawing