Failed Treehouse Critique Please!

Katherine

@Johanna-Kim Thank you, Johanna — yes I don't think a double-page spread is especially suited to being viewed at 1200px My main priority is getting portfolio pieces rather than winning Critique Arena so I'll just do whatever aspect ratio is right for the piece, knowing that it may mean I don't get in the top 16. Yeah that's a great point about the emotions — I was going for wonder, delight, and curiosity with the treehouse, which will hopefully be more successful once I attend to all the technical problems!

ArtMelC

@Katherine just chiming in on the double page spread for portfolio, you need to think how you are going to format and print it.

If it is on your website, it is likely to not be super hi-res either, and on most portfolio site layout, your image gallery is thumbnailed so a really complicated image may not get an art director clicking if it doesn't have a strong first impression when small.
If you will print a portfolio book, the standard sizes seems to be A4/8x10 or similar. Which means your double page spread is probably going to need to be resized smaller to fit the print pages. In this case, point 1 still stands.

Or you could print it oversized and accordion fold it, but that means you only have space for 1 at most 2 of such spreads or your book may fall apart. This is the only way I see it working to guarantee a double page spread viewed at full size.

Sorry if it is only marginally relevant to your image but I've been hit this way too having to size down double spread and it not looking the way I want it on my portfolio so just want to share!

Robert Henderson

@Katherine

You know Kathrine, I would just eliminate that word failure from your vocabulary. I think your work, which is incredibly interesting, is a strong step in the direction that you desire to move toward as an artist. Do you study Fine Art? This piece has that whimsical complexity modern fine artist love. Therefore if becoming a children’s storybook illustrator is your ultimate desire, think of viewing your work from a child’s point of view.

What did you love to look at and read as a very young person?

I hope this helps a little, but keep at it, your work is really interesting, I sure you will find that sweet spot soon and you lots of great input and support at this gold mine of a school.

von_Nimmermehr

@Robert-Henderson said in Failed Treehouse Critique Please!:

@Katherine

You know Kathrine, I would just eliminate that word failure from your vocabulary. I think your work, which is incredibly interesting, is a strong step in the direction that you desire to move toward as an artist.

I actually had the same thought.

I mean, it was around 100 treehouses... sometimes we just don't make it, and it doesn't meand we "failed". It just mean we still have to improve. And thats a nice journey

LauraA

@Katherine I love your work! This is a wonderfully creative mashup of magic and Rube Goldberg. I think it's a readability issue, both the story and the fact that everything had to be so small to fit into a spread. The shapes were complex and irregular to be so small. But even if the elements were larger, I'm still not sure I'd get the story except that it's some kind of magical factory. And dangit, I want to know!

The only specific drawing/rendering critique I have is that the leaf mass almost reads more as rock forms and could use a bit more of a careful design. And something about the way the two masses balance out could use more design. I sort of want to see the deposits area smaller in comparison to the tree. As for readability, maybe a bit more contrast, especially in the room with the conveyor belt, would help. But basically, you could take what you have, play with size, shape and contrast, and give us some more story elements. But don't ditch it!

Those wacky silhouettes of the contraptions in both areas are great. There's so much going on there that looks interesting that I want to know more about it, and that's no small order. In fact, it's the most valuable part. So keep up the good work and don't let not making the Top 16 get you down. Hey, you already won once, and that's better than I've done, so kudos to you! (In fact, come to think of it, if I remember correctly your winning piece eliminated mine early on ! Hahaha! )

PenAndrew

@Katherine I/m glad the feedback helped and yes I do not think you have to justify the use of a treehouse, but maybe there's an undiscovered link there, I think a tree in the clouds suggests the heavens and small gods. Yes, I am a fan of Terry Pratchett, read most of his books.

PenAndrew

@von_Nimmermehr @Katherine Yes I agree don't say failure as this work is really intriguing and invites curiosity and attention, yes it is disappointing not to get an honourable mention or to get into the top 16. I just hope to get the former, but I improved my work entering and that's more important than anything else. Learning, growing and improving and becoming more aware of what we do and valuing ourselves and our art more and more.

Katherine

@Melissa-Candrasaputra Thanks Melissa — I think it looks ok on my website (would love to know what you think if you have the time), but I do take your point about it having to read well when it's small.

Katherine

@Robert-Henderson Thanks Robert — that's really kind of you to take the time to write this. I'm very wary of creating art for what I think children will like because I worry that adults don't give children enough credit and we have a stereotyped notion in our minds of what is and isn't for children. Although I do pay a lot of attention to what my 5yo gravitates to in children's books and what he says is "ugly" or "boring". I find that quite instructive! Mostly I figure if I create something beautiful (or strive to) it will appeal to humans no matter the age

Katherine

@von_Nimmermehr Yes I'm all for improving! It's just very disconcerting when an illustration you love doesn't resonate with other people so I just had to know why!

Robert Henderson

@Katherine

You know, I find myself constantly coming back to look at this piece. I only used the word interesting in my last reply, however it does hold me in a very mysterious frame of mind. I feel like I’m trying to unravel a visual parable. I just love puzzles, especially beautiful ones.

You know your piece is outside of that rigid creative box we all tend to stay in because the box gives us safety and comfort, which is okay, but it’s lovely when a piece like this can encourage us to move further into an unknown adventurous expanse.

Posting this work here and viewing it in this format doesn’t really do it justice. I hope you don’t mind but I downloaded it to my computer which has a great big screen and I have been viewing it from there.

I could easily write a small essay on this piece by the way.

Wonderfully done Katherine and thank you for the emotional and intellectual feast.

I really want to encourage you to continue creating in this way and don’t be discouraged by our little boxes. We do occasionally step out to venture into the wild.

Katherine

@LauraA Thank you Laura — actually I would be very content if it just read as "magical factory". What a cool concept Thanks for all the feedback — I'm looking forward to getting a chance to apply it all!

ArtMelC

@Katherine No worries, it looks fine on your website!

Katherine

@Robert-Henderson Wow Robert, I don't mind at all — that was really very sweet and heartwarming to read. Thank you. I think that might be one of the nicest things anyone has every said to me

Katherine

Hi again everybody, I've begun reconstructing my Treehouse illustration! I'm starting with the composition and silhouette of the treehouse and this is where I'm at so far:

Draft 1.jpg

If anyone has feedback on the changes I've made to the composition and silhouette that would be absolutely fantastic!

Rendering, values, and concept will be addressed at a later date!

PenAndrew

@Katherine How did you do in the competition- your image was fabulous.

Katherine

@PenAndrew Oh thanks Stephen ( I have learnt your name is not Andrew since our last exchange!). Alas I was eliminated in the first round but I lost to one of the winners so that eases the sting. hehe

PenAndrew

@Katherine You should be so happy your illustration is so beautiful and meaningful- I absolutely love it. Love your style. Glad you had some more recognition for your talent. I still don't know who won apart from Kim.

Katherine

@PenAndrew Gosh thank you so much Stephen! I was very surprised I was in the top 16, so that was nice. I am very happy with aspects of it. I'm going to spend a few more days on some of the things I didn't get around to and some of the things I'm not happy with before I upload it to my portfolio though. I have a bit of a backlog of older work I need to finish first though!

Yeah I lost to Kim The other winner was Kate Presley — super strong piece. I'm really glad she won, much deserved.

PenAndrew

@Katherine Oh great I predicted Kim and Kate as two of the top 4, glad to know my instincts were correct.