Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Update: Treehouse WIP Witch one works better?

    General Discussion
    16
    39
    7534
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Chip Valecek
      Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG last edited by

      I echo everyone else on 3.


      https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
      https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
      http://www.cshellmedia.com/

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Doha
        Doha last edited by

        I love the first one as an illustration. But the third one has a clearer story to it. Love the bottles.

        Doha Koma

        www.Komaart.net
        https://www.instagram.com/dohakomart/
        https://www.facebook.com/dohakoma/

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • rcartwright
          rcartwright last edited by

          I like 3 but 2 could work very well with a good lighting plan

          https://www.scbwi.org/members/richard-cartwright/
          https://www.instagram.com/richardwcartwright/
          https://www.pinterest.ca/richcartwright3/art-of-richard-cartwright/
          https://www.richardwcartwright.ca/

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Jose Ramos
            Jose Ramos last edited by

            The third is the best, but I find the foreground very empty....maybe a big bottle in the foreground?

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • tombarrettillo
              tombarrettillo last edited by

              3rd gets my vote

              https://www.youtube.com/@tombarrettart

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • Leontine
                Leontine @smceccarelli last edited by

                @smceccarelli Good suggestion Simona, thank you!

                Leontine
                "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                https://leontineillustrator.com
                https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Leontine
                  Leontine last edited by

                  @aska @Dennis-Spaans @Doha @lmrush @rcartwright @tombarrettillo Thank you for getting me back on track! @smceccarelli Good Suggestion, Ill try that! @Jose-Ramos Thanks for suggesting the comp. Il give it a push!

                  Leontine
                  "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                  https://leontineillustrator.com
                  https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                  http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • MOO
                    MOO SVS OG last edited by

                    I also like 3 the best. Love the fishing and bottles 🙂

                    Marsha Ottum Owen

                    Leontine 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • Leontine
                      Leontine @MOO last edited by

                      @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thank you! Is it clear that he is the one putting 'help' bottles in the water?

                      Leontine
                      "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                      https://leontineillustrator.com
                      https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                      http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                      aska MOO 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • aska
                        aska @Leontine last edited by

                        @Leontine It looks like he is fishing for them, so other way. But this way story is also cool.

                        Aska
                        www.mugaska.com
                        https://www.instagram.com/mugaska/
                        https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mugaska

                        Leontine 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • Leontine
                          Leontine @aska last edited by

                          @aska Thank you, perhaps Ill change it a bit, so it wil be clearer.

                          Leontine
                          "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                          https://leontineillustrator.com
                          https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                          http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Leontine
                            Leontine last edited by

                            how about this?0_1497956384454_leontine treehouse lonelyness.png

                            Leontine
                            "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                            https://leontineillustrator.com
                            https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                            http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                            S 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                            • NoWayMe
                              NoWayMe last edited by NoWayMe

                              @Leontine, I agree with everyone about #3 🙂 I like the original version better than the modified one.. Even with the bottles on the rod, it looks like he is fishing them (and it looks a little odd). I think the problem is that if he wanted to put them in the water, he would just throw them... I think the story is really good if he is fishing for the bottles, but if you want him to be the one who put them there, then I would get rid of the fishing rod completely and just have him throw a bottle out of the window.

                              noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                              noemie_illustration on Instagram

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                              • S
                                smithdraws @Leontine last edited by

                                @Leontine This does read as the character sending the bottles out. Cool concept. Maybe keeping the bottles on a trawling line increases his chance of getting help (if that's his intent). Does he need help because his boat is broken? If so could the boat come to the foreground and maybe have a smoky motor? Your art really has some cool story possibilities.

                                https://www.instagram.com/joshuasmithdraws/?hl=en

                                Twitter handle: @smittyjosh

                                Leontine 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • Leontine
                                  Leontine @smithdraws last edited by

                                  @smithdraws Thank you! The Idea was, 'the guy ' was shipwrecked and got stuck there. He has used part of his boat to make himself a house, but as time passes, the island is getting smaller and smaller... or perhaps he really wanted to stay, at first, but he gets lonely and decides to try and call for help ?

                                  Leontine
                                  "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                                  https://leontineillustrator.com
                                  https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                                  http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                                  S 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • MOO
                                    MOO SVS OG @Leontine last edited by

                                    @Leontine Actually, I didn't get that. I thought he was fishing FOR a bottle...which really doesn't make sense when I think about it 🙂 Sending out bottles makes more sense 🙂 Nevertheless, I didn't really get it. Sorry.

                                    Marsha Ottum Owen

                                    MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • MOO
                                      MOO SVS OG @MOO last edited by

                                      @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen I think NoWayMe has it right. Just toss the bottles in and get rid of the fishing line and rod.

                                      Marsha Ottum Owen

                                      Leontine 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • tombarrettillo
                                        tombarrettillo last edited by

                                        @Jose-Ramos mentioned the foreground being a bit empty, and I agree. Maybe instead of a large bottle, how about moving the shipwreck to the foreground, which would help clarify the story and why he is tossing bottles, and add some interest. Would guide the eye a bit better. Right now the shipwreck is fairly hidden behind the hill.

                                        https://www.youtube.com/@tombarrettart

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • Leontine
                                          Leontine @MOO last edited by

                                          @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen XD

                                          Leontine
                                          "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                                          https://leontineillustrator.com
                                          https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                                          http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Leontine
                                            Leontine last edited by

                                            How about now... ?
                                            0_1497978329934_leontine illustrator.png

                                            Leontine
                                            "A picture is worth a thousand words."

                                            https://leontineillustrator.com
                                            https://www.instagram.com/leontine.illustrator/
                                            http://www.facebook.com/leontineillustration

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                            • First post
                                              Last post