Update: Treehouse WIP Witch one works better?

tombarrettillo

3rd gets my vote

Leontine

@smceccarelli Good suggestion Simona, thank you!

Leontine

@aska @Dennis-Spaans @Doha @lmrush @rcartwright @tombarrettillo Thank you for getting me back on track! @smceccarelli Good Suggestion, Ill try that! @Jose-Ramos Thanks for suggesting the comp. Il give it a push!

MOO

I also like 3 the best. Love the fishing and bottles

Leontine

@Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thank you! Is it clear that he is the one putting 'help' bottles in the water?

aska

@Leontine It looks like he is fishing for them, so other way. But this way story is also cool.

Leontine

@aska Thank you, perhaps Ill change it a bit, so it wil be clearer.

Leontine

how about this? 0_1497956384454_leontine treehouse lonelyness.png

NoWayMe

@Leontine, I agree with everyone about #3 I like the original version better than the modified one.. Even with the bottles on the rod, it looks like he is fishing them (and it looks a little odd). I think the problem is that if he wanted to put them in the water, he would just throw them... I think the story is really good if he is fishing for the bottles, but if you want him to be the one who put them there, then I would get rid of the fishing rod completely and just have him throw a bottle out of the window.

smithdraws

@Leontine This does read as the character sending the bottles out. Cool concept. Maybe keeping the bottles on a trawling line increases his chance of getting help (if that's his intent). Does he need help because his boat is broken? If so could the boat come to the foreground and maybe have a smoky motor? Your art really has some cool story possibilities.

Leontine

@smithdraws Thank you! The Idea was, 'the guy ' was shipwrecked and got stuck there. He has used part of his boat to make himself a house, but as time passes, the island is getting smaller and smaller... or perhaps he really wanted to stay, at first, but he gets lonely and decides to try and call for help ?

MOO

@Leontine Actually, I didn't get that. I thought he was fishing FOR a bottle...which really doesn't make sense when I think about it Sending out bottles makes more sense Nevertheless, I didn't really get it. Sorry.

MOO

@Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen I think NoWayMe has it right. Just toss the bottles in and get rid of the fishing line and rod.

tombarrettillo

@Jose-Ramos mentioned the foreground being a bit empty, and I agree. Maybe instead of a large bottle, how about moving the shipwreck to the foreground, which would help clarify the story and why he is tossing bottles, and add some interest. Would guide the eye a bit better. Right now the shipwreck is fairly hidden behind the hill.