Reworking an old piece- pumpkin patch- rendering stage

WithLinesOfInk

@smithdraws OMG I love analyzing cinematography. There's so much psychology in it. I didn't even know this!

smithdraws

@withlinesofink It makes sense to me to study cinematography since it's the ultimate form of sequential art. A picture book or comic is just a time lapse.

NoWayMe

Very nice!

Although, you might want to rethink the clouds. They really transfer the focal point from the boy carrying the 3 pumpkins to his family. The way it is now. I see the family before the boy (even if he is much bigger and brighter - directional lines are very powerful).

Otherwise, nice work!! Definitely MUCH better composition than your original!

TessaW

@nowayme Aw man! I really wanted to try out those clouds. Guess I'll have to save them for another piece. But, good point. I'll play around with the clouds. Thanks for the feedback!

TessaW

@smithdraws said in Reworking on old piece- Composition help.:

@tessw
There is so much about this that is working and that I relate to. Firstly I'm a big Superman fan so there's that Composition is easy to read and interesting. I don't mind that there is some ambiguity in the story; meaning, is he actually a super kid or just super imaginative? I live that last line of text and how the image plays with that. Just a side note that having the boy enter from the left is a good move as it sticks to the cinematic rule of thumb that "good guys," enter from the frame from the left. If you watch star wars, Vader tends to enter from the right and Jedis from the left. Just a fun factoid Well done so far!

Thanks! Good thing @Kevin-Longueil and @Chip-Valecek set me straight as far as him entering from the left. Didn't want him to be a bad guy.

TessaW

Making progress. Still need to refine the shading, unify the cast shadows color-wise, and add bounce light from the ground and fill light from the sky, among other things. Is there anything you can see that I need to look out for as I complete this piece? How does the sky look without clouds?

Also I was wondering, if I end up putting this on a portfolio website, do I include the text and gutter or do I leave them out?

smithdraws

@tessw Really shaping into a strong piece. What if you painted in clouds that directed toward the boy? I'd keep the text because the art and text play off of each other. I'd ditch the gutter.

Chip Valecek

@tessw This looks GREAT! As far as putting it up on your site, I would think the text is fine but remove the gutter line. But then again I may be wrong about that. I just think it would look great without the division in it.

Tyson Ranes

@tessw Love this composition and perspective. Also love the characters poses.

WithLinesOfInk

@tessw said in Reworking an old piece- pumpkin patch- rendering stage:

do I include the text and gutter or do I leave them out?

The AD at Random House who reviewed my portfolio said to leave out the gutter unless you're showing 2 pages together (like 2 illustrations). But having text is always AWESOME because it shows you understand what's needed for a book. If you can design the text well, that's even better.

TessaW

Thanks for your help, everyone! What do you think? Any changes or additions?

Also, I have another question. I've started to think of a book idea for this character, but it's kind of based on superman and his powers. Like super speed, laser eyes to carve his pumpkins, broccoli kryptonite, "flying" on his trampoline, etc. That's kind of a no-no though, right? Because it would be a rip off of a copyrighted character. I'd probably have to change the costume and his powers?

TessaW

Oh, and would you put a signature on this piece since it has text like a book spread? It looks kind of odd to me.

Tyson Ranes

@tessw this is such a joyful piece! It makes me think of my little almost 2 year old boy! This really captures a great moment.

WithLinesOfInk

@tessw said in Reworking an old piece- pumpkin patch- rendering stage:

That's kind of a no-no though, right? Because it would be a rip off of a copyrighted character.

Well, this can be tricky. I wonder if @Lee-White Might be thinking about a copyright/licenses/intellectual property lecture at any point.

Anyways, here's my feeling/understanding- yes you can use Superman as an inspiration. But definitely come up with your own character. Alter the costume, hair/skin color. Super strength is a common power, but maybe replace laser eyes with, like, invisibility. Things like that. See how much you CAN tweak without losing your story, because the more you change, the better. Before starting the story I would even sit down and go through the whole character design and development process to make sure you 1.) Have a clear paper trail for how you created and developed this character and 2.) have a solid character that feels clear and fleshed out in the story so you can't accidentally fall back on your original inspiration.

smithdraws

@tessw Firstly, great job! I'd remove the signature for the portfolio version. Your story concept is similar to the picture book, Good Morning Superman, by Michael Dahl and Omar Lozano. There is also, Bedtime for Batman. But you could design your own kid super hero. Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes would pretend to be, "Stupendous Man." To me the strength of your concept treatment is that you can explore any superpower as it relates to a kid's world. One more thing about your portfolio piece is to clean up the grammar. Instead of 'cause, use because. And just use a period instead of an exclamation point at the end of the last sentence. You'll be showing the piece potentially to some grammar sticklers so those are my suggestions for not calling negative attention to the text. Great job again and I hope you find a way to make your story idea work.

TessaW

@Tyson-Ranes Thank you!

@WithLinesOfInk Good points and things to think about.

@smithdraws Thanks for your advice and for letting me know about those books. It looks like they've already executed a lot of the ideas I was brainstorming. Even if I were to change it to an original superhero, and have it be Halloween based, I'm afraid it would be to redundant.

Thanks everyone for helping me through this painting. I'll make some more tweaks and put it up in my portfolio thread.