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    Would love to give a critique

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    • Will Terry
      Will Terry @bdyanne last edited by Will Terry

      @bdyanne

      @bdyanne Thank you for letting me give you some suggestions on your art!

      1. I would get rid of the background. You should have a reason for every element in your image. Since your background doesn't help tell the story I think it's actually a distraction - "why are they in the middle of a large empty field?" Creating a vignette allows the viewer to fill in the blank.

      2. If you strongly define some leaves - you need to strongly define the leaves behind them. Another way to handle a complex form like a leaf pile is to keep it less defined and let the viewer's imagination fill in the blanks.

      3. I think you need to give your characters something to jump from - I gave them a sliding board but it could be a number of objects or forms. The way you have it - makes them look like they're floating since children can't jump that high.

      4. Use reference to draw a believable pose - I roughed this out but if you find photo reference of children "jumping down" or "jumping off" (google search) you'll tell a better visual story. Pay attention to fabric folds and body positioning.

      Thanks again!
      Will
      0_1514327142180_45675675765.jpg

      SVS Instructor
      http://willterry.com/

      Miriam bdyanne 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 7
      • julian beresford
        julian beresford SVS OG last edited by

        @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thanks allot

        Julian Beresford - Freelance Illustrator
        www. jgberesford.com
        https://www.instagram.com/jbfantasticalemporium/

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • ?
          A Former User last edited by A Former User

          Hi Will ,
          @Will-Terry
          Thank you for starting this thread. I thought about posting this today anyway. After I saw that you have started a critique thread makes things easier. This is a project I have planned for 2018. I have been working on this painting for 2 days and I feel like there is something missing that would make this whole painting more interesting. Even though there are a few objects I find it is bland. I am wondering if it's the color variations in the toys, or is it not balanced? I'm not sure. Everyone's critique is welcome!

          Thank you

          0_1514343179243_New hat@0,5x.jpg

          MOO Miriam 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • MOO
            MOO SVS OG @Guest last edited by

            @amphailin Cute picture 🙂 I am having one problem and that is the sphere above the castle. I think if you moved it to the right a bit it would feel more balanced. Even though there is a pattern to the background it still seems to be a wide "blank" area on the right that could be nicely broken up if you moved it over. Also, one other thing s that the toy trunk seems a bit too close to the corner, like it wouldn't really fit. Maybe bringing the floor line up a bit along the back?

            Marsha Ottum Owen

            ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Will Terry
              Will Terry @Eric Castleman last edited by Will Terry

              @eric-castleman Hi Eric,

              Since @Lee-White already critiqued this one I thought I'd try to talk about different things other than color.

              I love the feel of this one since as you probably know I love snow!

              Here's what I would change:

              1. I would get rid of the clouds - I always try to avoid white on white objects - this way your white snow covered trees can silhouette against the dark sky.

              2. I would gap the trees so the white rabbit can silhouette against the dark sky as well - the other non-essential rabbits can blend in with the trees.

              3. I would try to vary the shape patterns in your trees - I sort of indicated it in the main tree. Yours are so uniform that the pattern is so dominant in your illustration I think it becomes distracting.

              4. I would move your main tree out a bit to really hit that rule of thirds.

              Thanks for sharing!

              Will
              0_1514479384654_785978.jpg

              SVS Instructor
              http://willterry.com/

              Eric Castleman 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • Will Terry
                Will Terry @Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                @laurel-aylesworth

                Thank you for posting this! It's a really nice piece and I especially appreciate your deliberate attention to the composition!

                Here's what I would change:

                1. Your piece is so light and airy - I think your foreground is too dark and doesn't match the middle and background. Black often scares some children's book editors and art directors.

                2. If you lighten up the foreground a little you can add in some detail that I think is needed to match the level of detail in your main character. If you set a precedent for detail in the middle ground - the foreground has to have even more detail.

                3. The hill that the girl is on terminates in the middle of your composition - by extending it you'll hit the third better AND give her a better chance of riding out the hill when she continues. Remember that the ground cover needs to overlap that trail as it goes out of sight.

                4. Your girl is drawn well but it could be even better and this is where art buyers are going to scrutinize your image the most. Her hand seems a little large -I know right? knit picking but that's how perfect it needs to be.

                5. I wasn't reading her seed bag at first until I zoomed in. "If it ain't shape - it ain't" - shape gives your viewer the quickest "read" into the story you're trying to tell.

                Thank you!
                Will0_1514480132648_345645.jpg

                SVS Instructor
                http://willterry.com/

                Laurel Aylesworth 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                • Laurel Aylesworth
                  Laurel Aylesworth @Will Terry last edited by

                  @will-terry This is so great! Thank you very much for your time on this. I was worried about the foreground looking foreboding, which didn't match my composition idea, so lightening it up will definitely help. Yup, she's got a spatula for a hand - lol. I also love how you enlarged the foreground bunny as it draws in the eye more. I think someone else on the forum mentioned the abrupt ending of the hill, but I didn't understand it at the time -- but now I get it. Thank you thank you!

                  www.laurelaylesworth.com
                  instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • MOO
                    MOO SVS OG last edited by

                    @andyg I really like how this is rendered.

                    Marsha Ottum Owen

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • holleywilliamson
                      holleywilliamson SVS OG last edited by

                      Would love a critique on this one. Something not quite right0_1514506350228_6829F1DD-11D4-49A5-B6FF-4061846BAFEE.jpeg

                      https://www.instagram.com/holleywilliamsonart/
                      http://holleywilliamson.com

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Eric Castleman
                        Eric Castleman @Will Terry last edited by

                        @will-terry you’re the man!!

                        EricCastleman.com

                        SCBWI profile
                        https://www.scbwi.org/members-public/eric-castleman

                        Will Terry 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • Will Terry
                          Will Terry @Eric Castleman last edited by

                          @eric-castleman Thank you Eric - I really have fun with these 🙂

                          SVS Instructor
                          http://willterry.com/

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • Will Terry
                            Will Terry @Blessings last edited by

                            @blessings Thank you for allowing me to critique your work!

                            Overall you really captured the nurturing sharing time of parent and child!

                            Here's what I would change:

                            1. I think two main light sources often cancel each other out. It's easier to have one main light source and perhaps a second tiny one - if the fire has burned down you won't have shadows canceling out.

                            2. I would turn the chair more towards the viewer in a 3/4 view like the one I drew. I think it would help bring us into their world and fit the room better.

                            3. If you get good reference you can draw what I call "authentic objects" - that is - objects that have a specific construction from a specific period. When you're not sure how an object is constructed - making it up often takes your viewer out of the story you're telling. Instead of glancing past a table or chair - your viewer is confronted with a non-essential item that demands further inspection because that viewer is unfamiliar with the way you drew it. This isn't to say you can't have fun stylizing an object but it still needs to remind us of a specific object.

                            Thank you!
                            Will
                            0_1514570738374_4784785678.jpg

                            SVS Instructor
                            http://willterry.com/

                            Blessings Miriam 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                            • Blessings
                              Blessings @Will Terry last edited by

                              @will-terry Thanks @Will-Terry I like your chair idea for sure. 👍🏽 And thank you abundantly for offering a free critique and taking time out of your busy day. I won’t soon forget it.

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • Pam Boutilier
                                Pam Boutilier last edited by

                                I would love some constructive critiquing on a piece I'm working on for my portfolio called 'Accommodating Dragon'.

                                This is a quick digital painting I did a couple of years ago:
                                0_1514671776319_Accommodating_Dragon-web.jpg
                                I love the idea and decided to rework it. Here is the new sketch with a preliminary start at a value study (though I hadn't planned to push the values quite as much as they appear here):
                                0_1514672799191_AccommodatingDragon 2.jpg

                                Before I put more hours into it and start the final rendering I'd love some feedback on the composition and what I've got started with values. I was thinking of going with a similar colour scheme as the old painting.

                                Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!! 😃
                                ~ Pam

                                ~ Pam
                                www.PamBoutilier.com

                                Miriam 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 9
                                • Laurel Aylesworth
                                  Laurel Aylesworth @Will Terry last edited by

                                  0_1514836907226_missr-full_revised.jpg Here's the revised version.

                                  www.laurelaylesworth.com
                                  instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                                  Will Terry 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                  • Will Terry
                                    Will Terry @Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                                    @laurel-aylesworth I really love all the changes - This is a really nice piece!

                                    SVS Instructor
                                    http://willterry.com/

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • Matt Baldwin
                                      Matt Baldwin last edited by Matt Baldwin

                                      Hi Will, I've only just returned to the forums after a long absence and I saw your post offering critique. I fear I might be too late (if so, totally cool). Here's my take on Mole from Wind in the Willows. Cheers!!0_1514863094684_MOLE 8x10 web.jpg

                                      Let's be friends!
                                      http://www.mattbaldwinart.com
                                      https://www.instagram.com/mattbaldwinart/
                                      https://twitter.com/mattbaldwinart

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • Art Dud
                                        Art Dud last edited by

                                        Trying to decide on shirt/shoe colors? Thoughts?

                                        0_1514868320377_FC7DB57D-A1A3-49B4-8D8D-66C4DFF653D9.jpeg

                                        Main character for book that has just been edited! It will be published this year 2018!

                                        www.chrisdudleyart.com
                                        @artdud
                                        Instagram: @chrisdudleyart

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • audrey dowling
                                          audrey dowling last edited by

                                          Hi @will-terry-art ,
                                          thanks for this post!
                                          It's the first time that I've done a piece with such a dramatic angle view, so I would love to see your take on it
                                          Here it is at the sketch/value stage:
                                          0_1514887501796_Happy Hatch day sketch 3.jpg

                                          website: https://audreydowling.wordpress.com/
                                          twitter: https://twitter.com/audreydowling
                                          facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Audrey-Dowling-Artist-Illustrator-498582176906242/timeline/?ref=bookmarks

                                          Miriam 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • Miriam
                                            Miriam @Will Terry last edited by Miriam

                                            @will-terry
                                            I love your drawing! Having them jump off an object is a great solution. I've never heard those called a "sliding board". When I read your notes I had no idea what you were talking about until I scrolled down and saw your draw-over. I've only heard it called a slide. I wonder if it's a regional thing--kind of like soda vs. soda pop, pop, Coke, etc. My family has a book about colloquialisms and pronunciation differences across the US. It's fun to flip through. I wonder if that one is in there.

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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