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    Would love to give a critique

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    • julian beresford
      julian beresford SVS OG last edited by

      @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thanks allot

      Julian Beresford - Freelance Illustrator
      www. jgberesford.com
      https://www.instagram.com/jbfantasticalemporium/

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • ?
        A Former User last edited by A Former User

        Hi Will ,
        @Will-Terry
        Thank you for starting this thread. I thought about posting this today anyway. After I saw that you have started a critique thread makes things easier. This is a project I have planned for 2018. I have been working on this painting for 2 days and I feel like there is something missing that would make this whole painting more interesting. Even though there are a few objects I find it is bland. I am wondering if it's the color variations in the toys, or is it not balanced? I'm not sure. Everyone's critique is welcome!

        Thank you

        0_1514343179243_New hat@0,5x.jpg

        MOO Miriam 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • MOO
          MOO SVS OG @Guest last edited by

          @amphailin Cute picture πŸ™‚ I am having one problem and that is the sphere above the castle. I think if you moved it to the right a bit it would feel more balanced. Even though there is a pattern to the background it still seems to be a wide "blank" area on the right that could be nicely broken up if you moved it over. Also, one other thing s that the toy trunk seems a bit too close to the corner, like it wouldn't really fit. Maybe bringing the floor line up a bit along the back?

          Marsha Ottum Owen

          ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • Will Terry
            Will Terry @Eric Castleman last edited by Will Terry

            @eric-castleman Hi Eric,

            Since @Lee-White already critiqued this one I thought I'd try to talk about different things other than color.

            I love the feel of this one since as you probably know I love snow!

            Here's what I would change:

            1. I would get rid of the clouds - I always try to avoid white on white objects - this way your white snow covered trees can silhouette against the dark sky.

            2. I would gap the trees so the white rabbit can silhouette against the dark sky as well - the other non-essential rabbits can blend in with the trees.

            3. I would try to vary the shape patterns in your trees - I sort of indicated it in the main tree. Yours are so uniform that the pattern is so dominant in your illustration I think it becomes distracting.

            4. I would move your main tree out a bit to really hit that rule of thirds.

            Thanks for sharing!

            Will
            0_1514479384654_785978.jpg

            SVS Instructor
            http://willterry.com/

            Eric Castleman 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
            • Will Terry
              Will Terry @Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

              @laurel-aylesworth

              Thank you for posting this! It's a really nice piece and I especially appreciate your deliberate attention to the composition!

              Here's what I would change:

              1. Your piece is so light and airy - I think your foreground is too dark and doesn't match the middle and background. Black often scares some children's book editors and art directors.

              2. If you lighten up the foreground a little you can add in some detail that I think is needed to match the level of detail in your main character. If you set a precedent for detail in the middle ground - the foreground has to have even more detail.

              3. The hill that the girl is on terminates in the middle of your composition - by extending it you'll hit the third better AND give her a better chance of riding out the hill when she continues. Remember that the ground cover needs to overlap that trail as it goes out of sight.

              4. Your girl is drawn well but it could be even better and this is where art buyers are going to scrutinize your image the most. Her hand seems a little large -I know right? knit picking but that's how perfect it needs to be.

              5. I wasn't reading her seed bag at first until I zoomed in. "If it ain't shape - it ain't" - shape gives your viewer the quickest "read" into the story you're trying to tell.

              Thank you!
              Will0_1514480132648_345645.jpg

              SVS Instructor
              http://willterry.com/

              Laurel Aylesworth 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • Laurel Aylesworth
                Laurel Aylesworth @Will Terry last edited by

                @will-terry This is so great! Thank you very much for your time on this. I was worried about the foreground looking foreboding, which didn't match my composition idea, so lightening it up will definitely help. Yup, she's got a spatula for a hand - lol. I also love how you enlarged the foreground bunny as it draws in the eye more. I think someone else on the forum mentioned the abrupt ending of the hill, but I didn't understand it at the time -- but now I get it. Thank you thank you!

                www.laurelaylesworth.com
                instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • MOO
                  MOO SVS OG last edited by

                  @andyg I really like how this is rendered.

                  Marsha Ottum Owen

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • holleywilliamson
                    holleywilliamson SVS OG last edited by

                    Would love a critique on this one. Something not quite right0_1514506350228_6829F1DD-11D4-49A5-B6FF-4061846BAFEE.jpeg

                    https://www.instagram.com/holleywilliamsonart/
                    http://holleywilliamson.com

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • Eric Castleman
                      Eric Castleman @Will Terry last edited by

                      @will-terry you’re the man!!

                      EricCastleman.com

                      SCBWI profile
                      https://www.scbwi.org/members-public/eric-castleman

                      Will Terry 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Will Terry
                        Will Terry @Eric Castleman last edited by

                        @eric-castleman Thank you Eric - I really have fun with these πŸ™‚

                        SVS Instructor
                        http://willterry.com/

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • Will Terry
                          Will Terry @Blessings last edited by

                          @blessings Thank you for allowing me to critique your work!

                          Overall you really captured the nurturing sharing time of parent and child!

                          Here's what I would change:

                          1. I think two main light sources often cancel each other out. It's easier to have one main light source and perhaps a second tiny one - if the fire has burned down you won't have shadows canceling out.

                          2. I would turn the chair more towards the viewer in a 3/4 view like the one I drew. I think it would help bring us into their world and fit the room better.

                          3. If you get good reference you can draw what I call "authentic objects" - that is - objects that have a specific construction from a specific period. When you're not sure how an object is constructed - making it up often takes your viewer out of the story you're telling. Instead of glancing past a table or chair - your viewer is confronted with a non-essential item that demands further inspection because that viewer is unfamiliar with the way you drew it. This isn't to say you can't have fun stylizing an object but it still needs to remind us of a specific object.

                          Thank you!
                          Will
                          0_1514570738374_4784785678.jpg

                          SVS Instructor
                          http://willterry.com/

                          Blessings Miriam 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                          • Blessings
                            Blessings @Will Terry last edited by

                            @will-terry Thanks @Will-Terry I like your chair idea for sure. πŸ‘πŸ½ And thank you abundantly for offering a free critique and taking time out of your busy day. I won’t soon forget it.

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • Pam Boutilier
                              Pam Boutilier last edited by

                              I would love some constructive critiquing on a piece I'm working on for my portfolio called 'Accommodating Dragon'.

                              This is a quick digital painting I did a couple of years ago:
                              0_1514671776319_Accommodating_Dragon-web.jpg
                              I love the idea and decided to rework it. Here is the new sketch with a preliminary start at a value study (though I hadn't planned to push the values quite as much as they appear here):
                              0_1514672799191_AccommodatingDragon 2.jpg

                              Before I put more hours into it and start the final rendering I'd love some feedback on the composition and what I've got started with values. I was thinking of going with a similar colour scheme as the old painting.

                              Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!! πŸ˜ƒ
                              ~ Pam

                              ~ Pam
                              www.PamBoutilier.com

                              Miriam 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 9
                              • Laurel Aylesworth
                                Laurel Aylesworth @Will Terry last edited by

                                0_1514836907226_missr-full_revised.jpg Here's the revised version.

                                www.laurelaylesworth.com
                                instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                                Will Terry 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                • Will Terry
                                  Will Terry @Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                                  @laurel-aylesworth I really love all the changes - This is a really nice piece!

                                  SVS Instructor
                                  http://willterry.com/

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • Matt Baldwin
                                    Matt Baldwin last edited by Matt Baldwin

                                    Hi Will, I've only just returned to the forums after a long absence and I saw your post offering critique. I fear I might be too late (if so, totally cool). Here's my take on Mole from Wind in the Willows. Cheers!!0_1514863094684_MOLE 8x10 web.jpg

                                    Let's be friends!
                                    http://www.mattbaldwinart.com
                                    https://www.instagram.com/mattbaldwinart/
                                    https://twitter.com/mattbaldwinart

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • Art Dud
                                      Art Dud last edited by

                                      Trying to decide on shirt/shoe colors? Thoughts?

                                      0_1514868320377_FC7DB57D-A1A3-49B4-8D8D-66C4DFF653D9.jpeg

                                      Main character for book that has just been edited! It will be published this year 2018!

                                      www.chrisdudleyart.com
                                      @artdud
                                      Instagram: @chrisdudleyart

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • audrey dowling
                                        audrey dowling last edited by

                                        Hi @will-terry-art ,
                                        thanks for this post!
                                        It's the first time that I've done a piece with such a dramatic angle view, so I would love to see your take on it
                                        Here it is at the sketch/value stage:
                                        0_1514887501796_Happy Hatch day sketch 3.jpg

                                        website: https://audreydowling.wordpress.com/
                                        twitter: https://twitter.com/audreydowling
                                        facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Audrey-Dowling-Artist-Illustrator-498582176906242/timeline/?ref=bookmarks

                                        Miriam 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • Miriam
                                          Miriam @Will Terry last edited by Miriam

                                          @will-terry
                                          I love your drawing! Having them jump off an object is a great solution. I've never heard those called a "sliding board". When I read your notes I had no idea what you were talking about until I scrolled down and saw your draw-over. I've only heard it called a slide. I wonder if it's a regional thing--kind of like soda vs. soda pop, pop, Coke, etc. My family has a book about colloquialisms and pronunciation differences across the US. It's fun to flip through. I wonder if that one is in there.

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Miriam
                                            Miriam @Guest last edited by

                                            @amphailin
                                            I like how there are 3 "hats" on the floor, but the kid is wearing a piece of the castle instead. The objects on the floor are evenly spaced. You might want to consider making them more random. Maybe you could have a couple of them next to / overlapping each other.
                                            The background is confusing to me. The wall is very unusual. Is it a mural? Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on when there's a drawing or art within a drawing. Also, what is the circle? Is it a window? Or a mirror? You might want to change to a plain background so it's not competing with your subject.

                                            ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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