September “SCALES!” WIP
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Good idea, Noah! Gently cooling the colors around her would lend to a strong warm focal point. I had been thinking of temperature in perspective. I hadn’t thought to contrast the temperatures for focus. Genius!
It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who likes the white stroke look, Chip. I won’t completely discard the idea. I am going to try without to see which is stronger.
I’ve also sketched in more election stuff. Pins. Posters. An “Election Day” banner. I really do like it more with that story element. Though it’ll need to be clear enough that it’s her for the story to come across. Maybe it’ll still work if it’s a second read and doesn’t distract. I’d love to get it into clear harmony with the first read though!
I’ll definitely post the adjustments and additions when they’re ready for feedback again.
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Ok! Here’s where I’ve gotten...
- more election stuff, how is that part of the story reading?
- darker shadows around the hands and hood, I think it’s reading better now around the hand
- cooler everywhere but the focal subject, I quite like how that works
- test between white stroke or no stroke.
Which do you think is better?
My next pass I plan on giving some extra love in the focal point/face area and apply your feedback.
Thanks so much for your eyes and mind to help me improve this illustration!
PS. I’m still inclined to keeping the white stroke element of the design. I like it. It seems an appropriately crisp distinction from the sharp focal area and the softer mid and back ranges. Your thoughts?
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I think the white stroke brings out the main character better. Interesting idea I haven't noticed anyone doing it before
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@Shara-Mills I definitely like it better without the white stroke. I think the white stroke effect is really good for a movie poster or comic cover when you have characters clumped together but no real setting in order to set apart the main character. (See @Jake-Parker 's skyheart for an example) But here I feel it brings her too far forward and isolated her from the context. This is a great rendering of a clever idea. You have definitely brought your A game!
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@Shara-Mills I like her also without the white stroke
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@Shara-Mills I also prefer her without the stroke. I think it separates her from the rest of the piece too much. I think you are doing a great job having her stand out from the crowd with your color choices.
I'm having a little trouble connecting that she is the girl running for school president. I don't think the Ombre in her hair is enough, or perhaps the poster where you see her full face is too far away / out of focus and easy for the viewer to miss. Maybe there's a way to make her stand out more, like if she had a colored streak in her hair that was unique from the other characters in the piece. Perhaps the boy holding the VOTE poster on the right could be showing more of her face that makes it apparent that she is the girl with the scales?
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I think this is beautifully done (though I am with those who like it without the white stroke) but I don't think you need the election stuff. I think someone showing up with scales at school is good enough without trying to get across that she is running for an election. In fact, I hadn't noticed the election elements earlier and when you made them more front and center, I had to scroll back to see why.
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Thanks everyone for the feedback! It is so helpful.
Thanks for helping me weigh the stroke question. It was fun to test, but I think I’ll save that element for somewhere else more suited for it. Your comments really helped me clarify that design choice. Thanks!
And after giving it a day to rest, percolate and reflect on your feedback, I think the election story is a bit of a tangent and makes the story being told unnecessarily overcomplicated. It was fun to explore, and I can enjoy that story personally, but I think this illustration would be best served by simplifying it back to the core story prompt.
Thank you, thank you for your insights and observations into enhancing this piece!!!
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Even though you dropped the election story I was thinking an easy way to connect her would be for her to have a pin or shirt that says "vote for me".
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Good point @DarleneAnico. I think I’ll still drop the election slant, but that’s a good solution to that problem.
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Getting close to finished!
This version is sans election and given some detail love.
Edit: I also subdued the farther away peers for atmospheric perspective.If there’s something you notice that would help dial It in the final refining stretch I’d get your eye-pinion.
And thanks to everyone for your critiques and ideas that have been so helpful getting it this far! You’re the best!!
