Slowvember WIP

KaraDaniel · 17 Nov 2019, 02:53

Hi, I'm Kara, I'm new here to SVS! Thought I'd share my first draft for slowvember. I did @Lee-White 's questionnaire from his youtube video...drew a bunch of thumbnails in relation to a story I wrote and came up with this. I'm trying to show a filthy polluted city with a beautiful parcel of land in the center that really is set apart from the city by a wall. I would love to know if anyone has any suggestions on how to improve this piece on my next go around painting it.

Also I am very much enjoying seeing everyones work here on the forum. I've tried joining facebook groups to share work and give/receive critiques but that was just an all around total failure Glad I found SVS!

P.S. Sorry if the image is blurry, its a photo and I saved it small just in case it wouldn't upload here.

KaraDaniel · 17 Nov 2019, 02:58

This post is deleted!

burvantill · 17 Nov 2019, 15:08

Welcome Kara. I like what you’ve done here. If you hadn’t said it was pollution I would have just thought it was a dreary day. I think you should emphasize the pollution part. The smoke from the chimneys etc., if that’s the point you are trying to get across. I like that the house on the hill has more color than the rest of the image.

Laurel Aylesworth · 17 Nov 2019, 15:16

@KaraDaniel This is a beautiful start. I love the movement of the wall, the path, and the buildings surrounding the hill. If your focal point is the green hill and house, then maybe play around with the values of the buildings in the foreground on the left and right to frame it more, so go darker on the buildings. My eye goes from the building to the dark gate then to the open space in the sky -- do you plan on having text there in the sky? Another juxtaposition would be to have characters inside the buildings vs. kids or pets running and playing around the green hill. But seriously, great start. I look forward to seeing what you do next!

braden H · 17 Nov 2019, 15:46

I love the idea! However, I'm with @burvantill in that it looks like a dark gloomy day in general with a house on a green hill.

I might play with super over-exaggerating the differences between the city and the green space. Super dark almost black sooty coal smoke and grunge covered pipes for the city. Have a dark black pipe with a sick coughing bird in the foreground. Gaunt children in poor boy caps staring forlornly at the literal beam of light shining on the sparkly GLEAMING house nestled in an emerald grove. Birds swooping and playing in a cerulean fountain. Puppies cavorting across the perfectly cut grass. Everything you can think of except a sign that says 'good place' with an arrow pointing at the house

I really like it so far. I'm interested to see your next go around painting it

burvantill · 17 Nov 2019, 15:51

@Braden-Hallett i love your brain

Jason Bowen · 17 Nov 2019, 18:21

Hey I like your drawing the buildings look great. I did a quick paint over that might sell the idea more of an almost island of health in amongst pollution. I used curves to darken the foregeound area and added some brighter colours where the pollution hasn't affected. Hope it helps

KaraDaniel · 17 Nov 2019, 19:46

@Braden-Hallett @burvantill great ideas! I'll definitely darken the buildings in the foreground. The story is of an mean old woman who lives alone in the house separating herself rom the townspeople but I do think i'll add some people on the fire escapes with some gas masks or something like that. A water fountain or pond is a great idea as well. I'm going to practice painting a light shining through the clouds on the house before I attempt the next one. I tried using photoshop but I couldn't figure out how to do it lol. Thanks so much for your feedback.

KaraDaniel · 17 Nov 2019, 19:49

@Jason-Bowen Oh wow thats really cool! I tried to figure out how to darken the buildings in the foreground on photoshop but I couldn't figure it out. (I only really use the program to crop lol. I need to see if there a photoshop course here on SVS...) I'm planning on repainting it though and I love how it looks on your example of the buildings darker and with the extra dark smoke clouds so i'm going to try to do that. Thank you so much!

KaraDaniel · 17 Nov 2019, 19:56

@Laurel-Aylesworth I love the idea of darkening the foreground. I do plan on having text in the sky. I'll probably add them in the final. I agree having some people in the city would be good. The mean old woman lives alone on the hill but I could show birds squirrels, or flowers to give it more life. Thanks for all your ideas!

chrisaakins · 18 Nov 2019, 21:09

@Braden-Hallett

I might play with super over-exaggerating the differences between the city and the green space. Super dark almost black sooty coal smoke and grunge covered pipes for the city. Have a dark black pipe with a sick coughing bird in the foreground. Gaunt children in poor boy caps staring forlornly at the literal beam of light shining on the sparkly GLEAMING house nestled in an emerald grove. Birds swooping and playing in a cerulean fountain. Puppies cavorting across the perfectly cut grass. Everything you can think of except a sign that says 'good place' with an arrow pointing at the house

You can tell you were an English teacher... Look at all them fancy words.

But seriously, I am in agreement. There is a theatre idea that comes into play: BIG BAD and BOLD. If you cannot see it from across the room, you ain't doing it enough.

Kevin Terry · 19 Nov 2019, 02:34

Really nice work. I think we need the gray buildings to look a bit more run down, maybe broken windows, and definitely more trash like old tires, clotheslines, etc. Great concept. cant wait to see more.

KaraDaniel · 19 Nov 2019, 03:33

@chrisaakins I like that. Big bad and bold!

KaraDaniel · 24 Nov 2019, 16:53

Did a little paint over with some watercolor...as I posted on another thread i'm getting tired of drawing this same image over and over (I made some color studies and drew another with people in it but I didn't really like how it turned out so I went back to square one). Ugh I'm just ready for a new project lol.

KaraDaniel · 24 Nov 2019, 16:56

Also how do ya'll get your photos you upload to not be blurry? They look crisp and sharp but mine are blurry unless clicked on and brought up in another window. Is it my file size?

TessaW · 24 Nov 2019, 18:48

Your picture look pretty clear to me? I'm not sure what others are doing, but I save the file as a PNG, 72 DPI. If it's in landscape format, I save it to 1000px on longest side. If it's in portrait I save to 700-900 px on the the longest side.

KaraDaniel · 24 Nov 2019, 18:58

@TessaW I'll try that next time thanks. I think my file is too big probably at least 300dpi and its a jpg.

TessaW · 25 Nov 2019, 14:54

I was focused on a technical comment before, but just wanted to stop back in and say that the piece is looking really good. I really love the concept and it's shaped up nicely.

ZeeZeeMonster · 25 Nov 2019, 15:03

@KaraDaniel I think this new version is great. The darker city really makes the colorful house stand out, and the added smoke really does punch up the point of tbe city being dirty and polluted