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    SCBWI Narrative Art Award- Critiques wanted

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    • tenmei
      tenmei last edited by

      Hello Nyrryl,
      I really like the compo. The pers looks spot on and it seems a great point of view from inside a shop.
      I know it's not finished, and I am not an expert, but in my humble opinion, maybe it will be nice to have a spot light into the cake that the girl is looking (at the moment, it is in the big cakes on the left, right?). It will also help to make the two cakes on the right darker, so you have foreground, middg and background. I would also test different values for her shirt, when you have more light to the little cake she is looking, so you really make that area of your compo your focal point.
      Lastly,we do not know where the girl is, what about including a bit of a street and some bins and a tree? Just shadows, low contrast, but something that will make a transition with your second image? Just an idea.

      It is almost there! Nice work.
      I am also preparing for this contest, but I am unsure if I will finish it on time...Too much to do!

      Bon courage!

      Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Heather Boyd
        Heather Boyd @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

        @Nyrryl-Cadiz I think it's like the passion you put in, your very best is more important than if you actually win, because you are already a winner.

        Instagram: www.instagram.com/heatherboyd.illustration/
        Website: https://heatherboydillustration.ca
        Shop: https://www.inprnt.com/search/products?q=HeatherBoydIllustration
        Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/heatherboydillustration

        Be blessed,

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • Nyrryl  Cadiz
          Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

          new update:

          small scbwi 1 sketch d.jpg

          Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
          Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
          YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
          • J
            jdubz last edited by

            @Nyrryl-Cadiz I like the spotlight, but I'd maybe play with how pronounced it is - it just feels really strong.

            Another thing that might be something to look at is make the spotlights on the cakes to the the left less intense than the main spotlight on the cake in the middle. That would instantly get the view looking right at the "money cake" 🙂

            Josh White
            https://www.instagram.com/joshwhiteillustration/

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Nyrryl  Cadiz
              Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

              new update:

              small scbwi 1 sketch e.jpg

              Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
              Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
              YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
              • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                Hi guys! i'm stuck in this stage. Which one do you like better. My guts tells me to go with A but what do you think?

                small scbwi 1 sketch h.jpg

                Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                tenmei Julia Jeremy Ross 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 4
                • Georgios Christopoulos
                  Georgios Christopoulos last edited by

                  @Nyrryl-Cadiz definately A.
                  Quick suggestion if you want it 🙂
                  I m feeling that gigger highlight inside her pupils will make her expression more "oooh,I totally want that!!"
                  Just bigger white highlight.
                  My two cents!!

                  Beautiful piece by the way. it s coming around really pretty.

                  Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/g.chris.artwork/
                  Deviantart : https://www.deviantart.com/g-chris

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • tenmei
                    tenmei @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

                    @Nyrryl-Cadiz Hello! A for me too! It is the kind of lighting I had in mind. Bon courage!

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                      Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                      I've started working on the 3rd piece. I gotta get all of these done by Monday.

                      scbwi 2 A.jpg

                      Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                      Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                      YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • Julia
                        Julia @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by Julia

                        @Nyrryl-Cadiz I like A best. Be mindful of the hand touching the light. Isn't it a tangent?

                        https://www.instagram.com/julia.nsw/

                        Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                          Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @Julia last edited by

                          @Julia yup, i'll have to fix that one

                          Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                          Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                          YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                            Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @tenmei last edited by Nyrryl Cadiz

                            @tenmei @jdubz @Georgios-Christopoulos thanks for the help, guys!

                            Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                            Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                            YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                              Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                              new update:
                              scbwi 2 c.jpg

                              Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                              Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                              YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                              • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                                Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                                new update:

                                scbwi 2 d.jpg

                                Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                                Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                                YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                                • Jeremy Ross
                                  Jeremy Ross @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

                                  Hi @Nyrryl-Cadiz, I like A.

                                  Good luck!

                                  https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                                  https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                                  https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                                  https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                                  Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                                    Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @Jeremy Ross last edited by

                                    @Jeremy-Ross thank you!

                                    Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                                    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                                    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                                      Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                                      update:
                                      scbwi 3 a small.jpg

                                      scbwi 3 b small.jpg

                                      Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                                      Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                                      YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • L
                                        Leah Boulet last edited by

                                        Looks great! Good luck!

                                        Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                                          Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @Leah Boulet last edited by

                                          @Leah-Boulet thank you!

                                          Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                                          Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                                          YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                                            Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                                            new update:

                                            scbwi 3 e small.jpg

                                            Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                                            Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                                            YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
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