Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Feedback: re-work

    Projects
    feedback composition
    6
    18
    1492
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • kayleenartlover
      kayleenartlover @Griffin McPherson last edited by

      @Griffin The last one with him slightly taller and his head flowing between the hand and the robot running away I think looks best out of the four.

      Griffin McPherson 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Griffin McPherson
        Griffin McPherson @kayleenartlover last edited by

        @kayleenartlover I like that one as well. My only hesitance is that it places a lot of the main subjects very close together and leaves the giant footprint feeling very open and possibly distracting

        kayleenartlover 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • kayleenartlover
          kayleenartlover @Griffin McPherson last edited by

          @Griffin Maybe if you keep his head placement but make him a little bigger or not bending over quite as much then you can have one foot in the pit area? I’m not quite sure.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • kayleenartlover
            kayleenartlover @Griffin McPherson last edited by

            @Griffin D5AD0B61-FEC1-447C-A36B-59A23C337783.jpeg

            Something like this maybe?

            Griffin McPherson 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • kirsten-mcg
              kirsten-mcg last edited by

              If it were me I think I would make him a pre-teen. This looks very much like a scene from a graphic novel that pre-teens would love!

              Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.mcgonigal.art/
              Portfolio Site: www.kirstenmcgonigalart.com

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • Griffin McPherson
                Griffin McPherson @kayleenartlover last edited by

                @kayleenartlover hmm, I’ll give that a try

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Griffin McPherson
                  Griffin McPherson @kayleenartlover last edited by

                  @kayleenartlover I tried what you suggested. In some ways I like this a lot more but I feel he looks a little too large now. I might just need to refine the drawing a bit more to get a better idea of it. 57420691-9D81-4D8F-824B-5FECD937146A.jpeg

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Griffin McPherson
                    Griffin McPherson last edited by

                    how’s the pose looking now? I’m not sure if the left arm look too awkward or not B59D2D87-308B-49A6-AAE6-C14AA517E9F9.jpeg

                    Asyas_illos 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • Asyas_illos
                      Asyas_illos @Griffin McPherson last edited by Asyas_illos

                      @Griffin to be honest I don’t really like any of the newer comps. I think he pulls to much attention, but with proper color and light I guess you could divert some attention back into the shop, because you kind of need to study it to take in everything. In all the positioning possibilities you are covering that second footprint, which I think needs to be clear to connect to the “iron giant”. Maybe move the print to the right side of the road? Or possibly move the character out farther? I know you didn’t want to put them too close together but it’s just one more option. And I apologize if that seemed harsh, I’m a big fan of your art and I know you’ll pull it off however you choose to go about it!
                      64DBD523-B424-4CCD-8C4D-016D2DB007E5.jpeg

                      Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                      www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                      https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                      Griffin McPherson 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Griffin McPherson
                        Griffin McPherson @Asyas_illos last edited by

                        @Asyas_illos moving the character out farther could be a good solution and it could create more of a floe from the garage to kid to robot. I hadn't thought about the fact that the kid would be covering up that second footprint so I think you're right about either the footprint or the kid being moved. As for the kid drawing too much attention I don't think that will be an issue once color and lighting is finished. He will be about as dark as the rest of the inside of the garage or a bit lighter

                        Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                          Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @Griffin McPherson last edited by

                          @Griffin Hi! I don't know if it's already too late but this is my take on how you should stage the boy. I don't have much time to explain so I hope this redraw below does the trick.

                          1660151456999-2af9c03a-dcd1-41b1-914a-c125a12b286f.jpg

                          Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                          Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                          YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                          Eliana Bastidas Griffin McPherson 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 2
                          • Eliana Bastidas
                            Eliana Bastidas @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

                            @Nyrryl-Cadiz I think you nailed it! This one looks great.

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • Griffin McPherson
                              Griffin McPherson @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

                              @Nyrryl-Cadiz oh this could definitely work, thanks!

                              Asyas_illos 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • Asyas_illos
                                Asyas_illos @Griffin McPherson last edited by

                                @Griffin @Nyrryl-Cadiz yep this one is great!

                                Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                                www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                                https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • Griffin McPherson
                                  Griffin McPherson last edited by

                                  UPDATE: So here’s what I ended up deciding on. Still open to feedback though I’m not sure I’d return to this piece for a little while. ECD9D481-01AD-45EA-ABEA-C5A9C124A3F7.jpeg

                                  Asyas_illos kirsten-mcg 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                  • Asyas_illos
                                    Asyas_illos @Griffin McPherson last edited by

                                    @Griffin turned out great!

                                    Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                                    www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                                    https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • kirsten-mcg
                                      kirsten-mcg @Griffin McPherson last edited by kirsten-mcg

                                      @Griffin I really like the boy running after the robot! Maybe to make it even stronger you could try playing with the value a little more? Maybe try lightening the sky and the hills bit to help the background really separate from the foreground? But really a great piece overall even if you just left it!

                                      Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.mcgonigal.art/
                                      Portfolio Site: www.kirstenmcgonigalart.com

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • First post
                                        Last post