Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    MerMAY challenge WIP Critiques wanted...

    Artwork
    10
    35
    1819
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • chrisaakins
      chrisaakins last edited by

      Here is another view with the lines toned down 74%. Does it improve the image?MERMAN toned down.JPG

      Chris Akins
      www.chrisakinsart.com
      www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Jason Bowen
        Jason Bowen SVS OG last edited by

        mermaid test.jpg

        Hey I really like your merman its awesome. I did a quick paint over to show you a possible pose which has a bit more action that you might like. Hope it helps πŸ™‚

        https://www.instagram.com/jasonbowenoils/

        chrisaakins 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • chrisaakins
          chrisaakins @Jason Bowen last edited by

          @Jason-Bowen Thanks! Oooo. I do like that pose. I was thinking of a different narrative, though one that I guess doesn't translate yet. I was thinking the story is that he's hunting for something or someone. Maybe a scuba diver who has dared enter his domain. I was thinking about putting someone hiding in the background in some kelp or coral.

          Chris Akins
          www.chrisakinsart.com
          www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • chrisaakins
            chrisaakins @Jason Bowen last edited by

            @Jason-Bowen But I think I will play around with your idea too. It will be a good exercise for me in Photoshop. I can work on both and see which has a better story.

            Chris Akins
            www.chrisakinsart.com
            www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

            Jason Bowen alicia 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Jason Bowen
              Jason Bowen SVS OG @chrisaakins last edited by

              @chrisaakins sounds good, I'm glad it's given you ideas 😊

              https://www.instagram.com/jasonbowenoils/

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • MOO
                MOO SVS OG @chrisaakins last edited by MOO

                @chrisaakins This is looking really good. Wish I could help out with the neck but I'm still working on figure drawing robo beans πŸ™‚

                Marsha Ottum Owen

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • Gabriel Lung
                  Gabriel Lung last edited by

                  Hey @chrisaakins, nice work on this merman its coming along. I think maybe you could try a darker background to make the character pop more. Or make your character darker and leave your background light. Also I think there is some inconsistency with your line weight. It looks like the light is coming from the top left corner so all your lines facing towards that direction could be thinner and then thicker for the lines facing away from the light, such as the bottom. Hope that helps!

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • karolifo
                    karolifo last edited by

                    Hi Chris πŸ™‚ I like your merman! I think the problem with the neck anatomy is mainly because of the direction of the muscle in the neck that is fastened in the collar bone and right beneath the ear. And maybe the head is a bit far to the left.... You could try making your own reference by taking a photo of your own head in the pose you want, to get an idea of how the anatomy will work in that pose (this is what I do when I run into specific anatomy problems πŸ™‚ )

                    09CA3680-FDEB-434B-B5CD-8DDCCD2EB210.jpeg

                    www.instagram.com/karolifo

                    chrisaakins 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                    • Chip Valecek
                      Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG last edited by

                      Great piece to start with. Lots of great advice already. I like the pose that @Jason-Bowen did with it. In terms of graphic novel style, I can see this fitting right in. I prefer to punch the colors up, but that is personal preference though.


                      https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
                      https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
                      http://www.cshellmedia.com/

                      Jason Bowen 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Jason Bowen
                        Jason Bowen SVS OG @Chip Valecek last edited by

                        @Chip-Valecek yeah I agree with the colour punching, I have started doing that too πŸ‘

                        https://www.instagram.com/jasonbowenoils/

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • chrisaakins
                          chrisaakins @karolifo last edited by

                          @karolifo good call. I will try and fix that.

                          Chris Akins
                          www.chrisakinsart.com
                          www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • chrisaakins
                            chrisaakins last edited by

                            So I made some changes. I tried to punch up the color but decided to put a vivid light on it instead. I darkened the background and added a kelp forest. I think it reads better now that he is hunting for someone or something in the forest. I tried to fix the neck but decided to hide it with a gill cover. Oh well. Is it better?
                            Merman WIP 3.JPG

                            Chris Akins
                            www.chrisakinsart.com
                            www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                            Sara Hickman 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                            • Sara Hickman
                              Sara Hickman @chrisaakins last edited by

                              @chrisaakins I like the vibrant colors. I think if the seaweed was darker it would pop even more.

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Jason Bowen
                                Jason Bowen SVS OG last edited by

                                Have a go at putting your character in different poses than you can choose your favourite one. Just a thought. πŸ‘

                                https://www.instagram.com/jasonbowenoils/

                                chrisaakins 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • chrisaakins
                                  chrisaakins @Jason Bowen last edited by

                                  @Jason-Bowen I actually did many thumbnails before I drew it. I like the sinuous feel of this pose. A sort of swirling coiling eel feel. So I think I'll keep it. I hope that once it's finished it'll make sense.

                                  Chris Akins
                                  www.chrisakinsart.com
                                  www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                                  Jason Bowen 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • Jason Bowen
                                    Jason Bowen SVS OG @chrisaakins last edited by

                                    @chrisaakins oh ok, looking forward to seeing it finished πŸ™‚

                                    https://www.instagram.com/jasonbowenoils/

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • alicia
                                      alicia @chrisaakins last edited by

                                      @chrisaakins This is so great! Love the detail & colors! I think the issue with the pose is it pulls your eye to the left, but then there’s nothing catch it or to pull it back onto the canvas. What if you scoot him over to the right & have something appearing in the direction he’s looking. A small school of fish (swimming back toward the center), an ominous light, etc. it doesn’t have to give away the surprise of the prey.

                                      chrisaakins 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • chrisaakins
                                        chrisaakins @alicia last edited by

                                        @alicia that is a good point. I will see if I can do that. Can you merge just three layers on PS?

                                        Chris Akins
                                        www.chrisakinsart.com
                                        www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                                        alicia 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • chrisaakins
                                          chrisaakins last edited by

                                          Thank you @alicia , @Sara-Hickman @Chip-Valecek and @Jason-Bowen and others who provided feedback.

                                          Here is the final version I hope. I think I may need to be done, at least for a little while.

                                          BIG QUESTION: How does it read? What story is it telling?

                                          Merman WIP 3.jpg

                                          Chris Akins
                                          www.chrisakinsart.com
                                          www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                                          MOO Johanna Kim 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • MOO
                                            MOO SVS OG @chrisaakins last edited by MOO

                                            @chrisaakins I see him looking anxious, peering over at a shark that is stalking him. The moment before! AAAGGGHHHH! Really nice drawing!

                                            Marsha Ottum Owen

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                            • First post
                                              Last post