MerMAY challenge WIP Critiques wanted...
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Hi Chris
I like your merman! I think the problem with the neck anatomy is mainly because of the direction of the muscle in the neck that is fastened in the collar bone and right beneath the ear. And maybe the head is a bit far to the left.... You could try making your own reference by taking a photo of your own head in the pose you want, to get an idea of how the anatomy will work in that pose (this is what I do when I run into specific anatomy problems )
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Great piece to start with. Lots of great advice already. I like the pose that @Jason-Bowen did with it. In terms of graphic novel style, I can see this fitting right in. I prefer to punch the colors up, but that is personal preference though.
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@Chip-Valecek yeah I agree with the colour punching, I have started doing that too
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@karolifo good call. I will try and fix that.
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So I made some changes. I tried to punch up the color but decided to put a vivid light on it instead. I darkened the background and added a kelp forest. I think it reads better now that he is hunting for someone or something in the forest. I tried to fix the neck but decided to hide it with a gill cover. Oh well. Is it better?
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@chrisaakins I like the vibrant colors. I think if the seaweed was darker it would pop even more.
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Have a go at putting your character in different poses than you can choose your favourite one. Just a thought.
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@Jason-Bowen I actually did many thumbnails before I drew it. I like the sinuous feel of this pose. A sort of swirling coiling eel feel. So I think I'll keep it. I hope that once it's finished it'll make sense.
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@chrisaakins oh ok, looking forward to seeing it finished
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@chrisaakins This is so great! Love the detail & colors! I think the issue with the pose is it pulls your eye to the left, but then there’s nothing catch it or to pull it back onto the canvas. What if you scoot him over to the right & have something appearing in the direction he’s looking. A small school of fish (swimming back toward the center), an ominous light, etc. it doesn’t have to give away the surprise of the prey.
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@alicia that is a good point. I will see if I can do that. Can you merge just three layers on PS?
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Thank you @alicia , @Sara-Hickman @Chip-Valecek and @Jason-Bowen and others who provided feedback.
Here is the final version I hope. I think I may need to be done, at least for a little while.
BIG QUESTION: How does it read? What story is it telling?
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@chrisaakins I see him looking anxious, peering over at a shark that is stalking him. The moment before! AAAGGGHHHH! Really nice drawing!
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@chrisaakins In answer to your questions:
How does it read? It's easy to read. But I wish I could see the Merman's eye better.
What story is it telling? Agree with @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen's comment. There's a feeling of lurking danger and suspense with the shark shape and the hiding merman.Other thoughts: The merman's style and that of the background are very different. Both styles are great, but together, they compete with each other. Is there a style you prefer?
One way to blend the styles better would be to take the color palette of the background, and the painterly style, and apply that to your merman. I hope you don't mind that I did a sample drawover to show better what I mean. Doing this means sacrificing your detailed line work, however. On ther other hand, I also think going with the merman's style and applying that to the background could look cool, as well. But that might take more time.
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@Johanna-Kim I do see what you mean. I was trying to emulate a comic book style. Often they have painted backgrounds and inked foregrounds. I may add some ink to the background since I don't want to lose the line work. to see if that works. As far as the eye goes, I was thinking deep black.
Thanks for the input!
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@Johanna-Kim Good call! I added just a touch of inking and I think it helps define the space a little more. I also added a sparkle of reflected light and that too increases the angst of the piece. Thanks! What do you think?
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Well, I thought it looked better. Now I am having second thoughts. The lines look like an afterthought. Argh. I may need to just come back to this...
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@chrisaakins Yes, I think that if you're going to go with the line work style, you'll need to develop the background more intentionally in that style. I can empathize as this has happened to me before and it took a lot of work, time and experimentation to resolve.
It might help to take a small section of your illustration that includes the merman and the background and experiment on that. For inspiration, you could also Google underwater comic book/graphic novel images and see how the line work is treated there. Here's one from DC Comics that shows how the line work in the background is defined, though simpler than in the figures, and the line is a color lighter than black. Also the overall color of the background is more subdued and more monotone.
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@Johanna-Kim Yeah I was thinking the black ink looked too much. I think the color is otherwise okay. I have looked at pix of Kelp forests before and it seems okay to me but I will play around with it. Thanks for your help.
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@Johanna-Kim And now that I have the other pic you posted, mine looks especially messy on the line work. I was going for a more Karl Kopinski look.
Picture credit: Karl Kopinski
