Feb contest WIP: Rene the mouse - feedback requested :-)

[Melanie Ortins]

@xin-li

I agree that you don't need to know Magritte for the image to make sense but it definitely adds to it and my eye went straight to "This is not cheese" haha

For character design, maybe try out different types of clothing or props that he could have on him. Maybe more art supplies as an illustrator, or things to show other aspects of his personality. Maybe even some clothing/design choices based on Magritte, like a bowler hat? I struggle with sometimes having "generic" characters as well so I don't know if I can help much with suggestions.

I don't know that I really get the idea of him discovering that the moon is made of cheese, maybe you could add something else to suggest that concept. But I like the image anyway, so I don't think it's necessary.

I personally like the linear/straight on perspective for this one. It doesn't look amateur-ish if you do it well and you've clearly shown us that you can do different angles and perspective in your work so I wouldn't worry about that.

Super cute! Looking forward to seeing how it turns out

[NicolaSchofield]

Looking great already. I'm useless with names so I don't know Magritte but straight away I still recognised the picture of the guy with a bowler hat with the apple replaced by cheese. This would then make me think the other pictures are probably also takes on famous works so I would look closer.

I really like the POV, it's calm and contemplative, I think reflecting the state of mind of the character.

I didn't realise one of the squares on the wall was a window, I thought they were all paintings, so maybe just make sure that's clear in the final piece.

I'm not sure I'd get that he's just found out the moon is made of cheese. I'd probably just think that we are in an alternative world where mice rule and cheese is very important.

[xin li]

@neschof @Melanie-Ortins thank you for the feedback. The "moon made of cheese" is more of a comment on how the Rene mouse percieve the world. I once heard a story about Edward Munch really believe the size of the moon is like a dinner plate, because that is how he percieved it.

I want to make the real window be not super obvious, but the 2rd read in this image, like a lot of surrealists paintings have this effet on me. I hope I can pull off this somehow

I will take the advice I read in another WIP thread: @carlianne mentioned about choose to improve what you are worst. I guess character design is my biggest challenge at this moment. I will focus on experiment with the Rene mouse character fo this piece.

[carlianne]

@xin-li I'm sure you'll do great! This is already really a fun piece. When you said surrealist pieces I thought off Dali's melting clock, so melting cheese could be funny. You could also do other iconic paintings, like Andy Warhols soup cans or other pop art pieces. Or a piece of cheese on a lily pad? LOL

[chrisaakins]

@xin-li I am excited to see this. I hope you didn't think I was being critical of your POV. It's a lovely piece and I love your inspiration for it.

[xin li]

@carlianne thank you. I love Warhols soup cans, might incorporate that. I laughed out loud when reading "a piece of cheese on a lily pad".

[xin li]

@chrisaakins I love getting critics. They made me think, and they gave me possibilities to tackle a piece from different angles. This is why I love SVS community so much.

[xin li]

work continued... I am a bit behind for this month's contest, still trying to make it to the deadline Here is a more refined sketch, and a color study.

• Can you spot the window (as the second read)?
• Is the background still too distracting?

[Melanie Ortins]

I don't find the background too distracting but if you want the window to be more of a second read, I would push it back a bit more. Right now, it's the area with the most contrast and the area that the mouse is looking so it starts to become a focal point. Maybe vignette everything around your character or make the lines on him thicker to help him stand out. It's looking super cute by the way! Love the colours

[chrisaakins]

@xin-li I don't think the background is distracting at all but rather adds to the story. I like the vignette idea. Maybe a light shining on him from an overhead lamp and place him in a lightened cone and the other colors recede a little?

[carlianne]

So I think this is super cute and fun! I think the color feels warm and cozy which fits with your theme.

Hopefully you don't mind, and I didn't get all your details in, so this is more monochrome than I think you should go. But I did a quick color pass because I was wondering if there was too many colors in the shadows and if you tint it back with more blue that will help it feel a little more harmonious and let the cheese pop? Also the green for me wasn't feeling as harmonious, especially with the green in the foreground plant as it is creating a lot of contrast with the mouse's ear.

feel free to ignore it though and do what feels right to you!

[xin li]

@carlianne thank you so much. Your paint-over is so much more harmonious than my original color study. I will definitely incorporate that in my final painting.

[xin li]

@Melanie-Ortins thank you so much for the feedback. I will play around with the vignette idea or find other ways to pop the main character a bit more

@chrisaakinsI like the lightened cone idea. I will see if I can pull it through.

[xin li]

I am trying to fight my tendency of making the anthropomorphic character looks like a human wearing an animal mask rather than an animal wearing human cloth.

It is a lot of detail left, I spent a lot of time tweaking the value and color. Things always take a bit more time, and I hope I can still make the deadline this month.

Feedback are always welcome

[Coley]

@xin-li this is so cute!

[xin li]

@Coley thank you. I really enjoyed doing this piece. I always have a strange relation to that joke about the moon is made of cheese. Finally, it made into my illustration.

[Kim Hunter]

I like how it's improving. On character design - The narrow shoulders are correct for a not-too-human , anthropomorphized character. Because they lack a collar bone, most 4 legged animals are pear shaped. Your mouse has the narrow top/wide bottom shape. If he starts leaning too human, you might increase the pear shape of his torso.

I think the hair and glasses ads to his character. Other accessories like a pencil behind his ear would also ad to character. Two other things that might ad are his state of mind and his choice of media. How long has he been sitting here? Is he tired? Is his back getting stiff? Could replacing what looks like a computer with a canvas and colorful paints, that may or may not be dribbled or spilled on the desk or floor, ad to his character as a mouse so hard at work that he doesn't notice the mess building up around him? Or a mouse that doesn't care about some paint drips?

With the picture scrolled up, I now see the outline of paint tubes on the floor. I think paint would give you a nice way to ad specs of color to the work. I really like your other work and look forward to seeing the finished piece. Cheers!

[chrisaakins]

@xin-li hahaha! I just noticed your moon looks like cheese. So clever!!! I think it looks great. So maybe DON'T finish this one in time and give us a chance! (Totally kidding!)

[xin li]

@Kim-Hunter thank you so much for the feedback. It is so interesting to hear the comments on the story side of the illustration. Your questions get me thinking :-).

With SVS monthly challenge, most of the time, I do not have a very clear story in mind. I started with a single aspect of the story which intrigues me, then I draw things out to explore the rest of the story. In this case, it was "the moon made of cheese". Then I thought maybe there is an illustrator mouse imagining the moon is the cheese. For some reason, Rene's paintings just got mixed in.
I first thought I would do Cintiq for the mouse (as many of the illustrators today will do). Then I thought maybe drawing board is more fun to draw because art supplies are fun to draw.

[xin li]

@chrisaakins hehe. Thank you for the compliment. I am flatted.