@nessillustration I think you've summed up the conflict in my head perfectly Ness.
Thanks to everyone's advice, I've shifted some things around a bit by starting studying sessions one hour later, with bedtime being one hour earlier … so I get more sleep to focus on Lucid Dreaming, and also, like you said before … instead of trying to do everything at once, I'm focusing on one lil ting at a time. Baby Steps.
Thank you for helping me.
It's just like you said, a lot of this documenting stuff is actually a good way of learning and more just an excuse to push myself out of my comfort zone with various social anxiety issues, so maybe that's where the conflict really lies.
Fear.
It's always fear when you drill down far enough. I almost wonder if I piled everything on at once to make myself fail so I would give up and not have to put myself in the uncomfortable space.