Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Star - Feedback Kindly Requested

    Contest
    8
    20
    1096
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Jeremy Ross
      Jeremy Ross @brettb_draws last edited by

      Hi @brettb_draws, thank you for the pointers! I take all feedback as a gift, so definitely appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. I struggled with the composition, but had a clear vision in my head. I think it’s one of those things my mind is better than my abilities, lol!

      Thanks again!

      https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
      https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
      https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
      https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Jeremy Ross
        Jeremy Ross @carlianne last edited by

        Hi @carlianne, thank you so much for your kind words! I had a gut feeling the reflection and story wouldn’t read well, so will do better.

        Appreciate the feedback on my continuous improvement, slowly getting better.

        Really enjoying your YouTube content! Thank you for teaching!

        https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
        https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
        https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
        https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • KathrynAdebayo
          KathrynAdebayo @Jeremy Ross last edited by

          @jeremy-ross Hi Jeremy! I really liked your piece. The star turned out especially great, in my opinion. 🙂

          This may be off, but I think the way the piece was packaged to submit to critique arena may have actually been part of why it wasn't chosen, as opposed to the art itself, which I think could have made it into the top entries.

          If I remember seeing it on the critique arena website correctly, your name was under the window, but then the space under the artwork was filled in with a dark color. Am I remembering right?

          It may not have been an issue to the judges, but to me that color looked like it was trying to be the wall under the window, but it didn't have the same style. The name was also in a different spot than on the template, so maybe that was a factor as well?

          I'm sure your design sense when it comes to your own art is ultimately better than mine, but I would have probably left white space around the top and bottom of the image, embracing that it is rectangular, and then put the name at the bottom.

          I hope this is helpful. Keep up the great work. 🙂

          Jeremy Ross 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Jeremy Ross
            Jeremy Ross @KathrynAdebayo last edited by

            Hi @kathrynadebayo, you are right! I didn’t particularly like how the piece looked inside the box template and added a little airbrush to the white space. I agree with you, it didn’t present well. The landscape piece looks better as a standalone.

            Appreciate your kind words!

            https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
            https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
            https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
            https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • jenn
              jenn @Jeremy Ross last edited by

              @jeremy-ross I have an idea: maybe you could try pulling the focus outward and show a little bit of the girl in the foreground, maybe in silhouette. That might clarify the concept that the star is looking into her window, and bounce the viewer's eye around the image a little. The star would still be the focal point. It has a very sweet expression, and of course the warm glow draws the eye immediately.

              studiojcd.com
              she/her/hers
              Insta/Twitter: @chengdesautels

              Jeremy Ross 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • Jeremy Ross
                Jeremy Ross @jenn last edited by

                Great idea @jenn, will give it a shot!

                https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • Jeremy Ross
                  Jeremy Ross @jenn last edited by

                  Pulling the camera back; does this look better?

                  DDBC7B61-1FFA-4C51-B2E5-8320388BCF08.jpeg

                  https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                  https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                  https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                  https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                  Asyas_illos Jeremy Ross 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 4
                  • Asyas_illos
                    Asyas_illos @Jeremy Ross last edited by

                    @jeremy-ross oh yah! That’s way better! Nice!

                    Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                    www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                    https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                    Jeremy Ross 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • Jeremy Ross
                      Jeremy Ross @Asyas_illos last edited by

                      Thanks @asyas_illos! Look forward to coloring this one this week.

                      https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                      https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                      https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                      https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • TessaW
                        TessaW last edited by

                        I really like the zoomed out view. I just wonder if the starfish poster might be distracting? Will people think the star outside is a starfish too? Maybe make it a regular star poster? It might not matter, but it just gave me pause.

                        Website: www.tessawrathall.com

                        Instagram: www.instagram.com/tessawrathall_art/

                        Jeremy Ross 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • Jeremy Ross
                          Jeremy Ross @TessaW last edited by

                          Thanks @tessaw, great point!

                          Maybe “Wish upon a Star”, which is why the star is visiting to grant her a wish?

                          https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                          https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                          https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                          https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • Jeremy Ross
                            Jeremy Ross @Jeremy Ross last edited by

                            Finally found time this weekend to color it.

                            Appreciate everyone’s feedback!

                            B0D69C72-A5CD-45DF-A23B-4164218FC082.jpeg

                            https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                            https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                            https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                            https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                            Norman Morana carlianne 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
                            • Norman Morana
                              Norman Morana @Jeremy Ross last edited by

                              @jeremy-ross This is awesome, your values in the redo are handled much much better. You have some good textures going, too!

                              Onwards,

                              Norman

                              normanmoranaillustration.com
                              instagram.com/norman_morana/

                              Jeremy Ross 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • carlianne
                                carlianne @Jeremy Ross last edited by

                                @jeremy-ross really really cute! I'm wondering if a little rim light on her hair might help the girl pop a little. But you might also want to watch out for the tangent of the ball tip on the bed is having with her hair.

                                The color and values are really nice and the girl and star are both very cute 😊

                                Check out my art and tutorials :)

                                Instagram: www.instagram.com/carliannecreates/

                                Youtube:
                                https://youtube.com/c/CarlianneCreates

                                Shop: www.carliannecreates.com

                                Jeremy Ross 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • Jeremy Ross
                                  Jeremy Ross @Norman Morana last edited by

                                  Thank you @norman-morana!

                                  https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                                  https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                                  https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                                  https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • Jeremy Ross
                                    Jeremy Ross @carlianne last edited by

                                    Hi @carlianne, good catch on the tangent, I meant to fix that sooner. I’ll give it a tweak and add a little extra rim lighting to her hair.

                                    Thank you!

                                    https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                                    https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                                    https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                                    https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • Jeremy Ross
                                      Jeremy Ross @carlianne last edited by

                                      Hi @carlianne, moved the bed frame ball up to avoid tangent and slapped on some rim lighting on the girl’s hair.

                                      Thanks again for the feedback!

                                      2678F8DB-BA47-4658-B3C7-CF0CD64531A2.jpeg

                                      https://www.instagram.com/jeremyrayross
                                      https://www.jeremyrayross.com/
                                      https://twitter.com/jeremyrayross
                                      https://jeremyrayross.substack.com/

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                      • First post
                                        Last post