Star - Feedback Kindly Requested

[Jeremy Ross]

Hi @carlianne, thank you so much for your kind words! I had a gut feeling the reflection and story wouldn’t read well, so will do better.

Appreciate the feedback on my continuous improvement, slowly getting better.

Really enjoying your YouTube content! Thank you for teaching!

[KathrynAdebayo]

@jeremy-ross Hi Jeremy! I really liked your piece. The star turned out especially great, in my opinion.

This may be off, but I think the way the piece was packaged to submit to critique arena may have actually been part of why it wasn't chosen, as opposed to the art itself, which I think could have made it into the top entries.

If I remember seeing it on the critique arena website correctly, your name was under the window, but then the space under the artwork was filled in with a dark color. Am I remembering right?

It may not have been an issue to the judges, but to me that color looked like it was trying to be the wall under the window, but it didn't have the same style. The name was also in a different spot than on the template, so maybe that was a factor as well?

I'm sure your design sense when it comes to your own art is ultimately better than mine, but I would have probably left white space around the top and bottom of the image, embracing that it is rectangular, and then put the name at the bottom.

I hope this is helpful. Keep up the great work.

[Jeremy Ross]

Hi @kathrynadebayo, you are right! I didn’t particularly like how the piece looked inside the box template and added a little airbrush to the white space. I agree with you, it didn’t present well. The landscape piece looks better as a standalone.

Appreciate your kind words!

[jenn]

@jeremy-ross I have an idea: maybe you could try pulling the focus outward and show a little bit of the girl in the foreground, maybe in silhouette. That might clarify the concept that the star is looking into her window, and bounce the viewer's eye around the image a little. The star would still be the focal point. It has a very sweet expression, and of course the warm glow draws the eye immediately.

[Jeremy Ross]

Great idea @jenn, will give it a shot!

[Jeremy Ross]

Pulling the camera back; does this look better?

[Asyas_illos]

@jeremy-ross oh yah! That’s way better! Nice!

[Jeremy Ross]

Thanks @asyas_illos! Look forward to coloring this one this week.

[TessaW]

I really like the zoomed out view. I just wonder if the starfish poster might be distracting? Will people think the star outside is a starfish too? Maybe make it a regular star poster? It might not matter, but it just gave me pause.

[Jeremy Ross]

Thanks @tessaw, great point!

Maybe “Wish upon a Star”, which is why the star is visiting to grant her a wish?

[Jeremy Ross]

Finally found time this weekend to color it.

Appreciate everyone’s feedback!

[Norman Morana]

@jeremy-ross This is awesome, your values in the redo are handled much much better. You have some good textures going, too!

[carlianne]

@jeremy-ross really really cute! I'm wondering if a little rim light on her hair might help the girl pop a little. But you might also want to watch out for the tangent of the ball tip on the bed is having with her hair.

The color and values are really nice and the girl and star are both very cute

[Jeremy Ross]

Thank you @norman-morana!

[Jeremy Ross]

Hi @carlianne, good catch on the tangent, I meant to fix that sooner. I’ll give it a tweak and add a little extra rim lighting to her hair.

Thank you!

[Jeremy Ross]

Hi @carlianne, moved the bed frame ball up to avoid tangent and slapped on some rim lighting on the girl’s hair.

Thanks again for the feedback!