Feedback on double page spread
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The illustration is lovely, but it is hard to tell if it works without knowing the text. It is a very peaceful, calm, static image. Does that fit the story? If yes, then it works. Without knowing the text, I long for some action. If it fits the story, I would try and create more tension...at the very least a Bison acknowledging the boy is there by looking up. Right now it is a calm landscape with a random boy standing there.
I also think placing the text in the bottom right corner won't work very well. I feel that would make the bottom half of the image even more heavy. So far all the color and interest is in the bottom half of the page. If you put the text there, the top half will be ignored completely.
Hope that helps! You have a great color and style! -
Thanks everyone for all the feedback! I'm incorporating some of the changes and will post again later tonight. As far as the context of the story, the basic idea of this scene is just to convey the idea of a 'wide place' with a beautiful scene. It's my book, so I'm not as concerned with matching the text to the picture as I would be when illustrating someone else's work.
I'm did notice the bison in the middle of the page, moved him over, lightened the sky towards the horizon a bit, extended some of the clouds and bison to overlap, and I think I'll actually add more sky than less since I want the sky to look really big and open. Thanks!
Nat Iwata
www.iwataillustration.com -
@natiwata Hey Nat - really nice - great feel to the image - i just wanted to try lowering the sun - the only thing i was feeling was that the atmosphere was not conducive to making those rays..... i could be wrong - but i think it is when the rays of the sun are low and traveling through more atmosphere - that is when those rays seem to happen i think - mostly cut and pastes with some erasing - i know the piece is not about the rays.... and this is a minor and possibly incorrect point but just wanted to share the thought:)
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Update I did a few days ago and forgot to post. Did a lot to try and polish this and incorporate some suggested changes.
Nat Iwata
www.iwataillustration.com -
Looks really good:) Nice work>
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Yeah! This looks great! I like the extra details that you added, the grass blade up front and the buffalo fur. You did a good job balancing the subtly of detail while not making it too punchy. This looks like a portfolio ready piece. :^D=
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Thank you @BradAYoo and @evilrobot !!!
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It is awesome, love it
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@natiwata This looks great Nat - i think you might be done so i hope i am not annoying you with this feedback - i really liked the original and all of the changes you've made too - but something on this new version that really jumps out at me is that the Bison look like they are the same animal cut and pasted at different distances - small head tilts and two tail shapes but otherwise the same - the variations of poses on the previous paintings looked more natural to me -
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This looks great, as always!
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This is why I love this school, we post, others see things we don't and we can only grow from it
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Really nice! With this subject matter, I would consider using some perspective. Maybe spread out the clouds and layer them a bit. Group the buffalo together. This will give you more compositional elements and design options.
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@Kevin-Longueil Thanks Kevin, and yeah I totally cut and pasted then slightly modified the bison! I meant to go back and add a few more variations and some at different angles but haven't yet, good call.
@Imrush @NoWayMe Thanks for the comments, it's great to grow and see things improve with everyone's help.
@Lee-White - Thanks for the suggestions, I do see that some of the elements of the composition may be too evenly spaced. Part of this illustration in the larger book idea is that this is a remote place, in the wilderness, so I'm wondering what I can use instead of man made things like roads, poles or fences out on the pains? Maybe make the clouds more sweeping toward the camera...or variation in the grass? Hmm...
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sure, those ideas should work. Just think of overlapping things and varying the shapes and spacing as things go back. Here's another option with maybe some puddles and a body of water...
SVS Faculty Instructor
www.leewhiteillustration.com -
@Lee-White Thank you for the feedback, lightning fast! Water, accentuating foreground grass, birds I really like these ideas, and they make the image less boring but keep it serene.
