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    Feedback on double page spread

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    • natiwata
      natiwata SVS OG last edited by

      Thanks everyone for all the feedback! I'm incorporating some of the changes and will post again later tonight. As far as the context of the story, the basic idea of this scene is just to convey the idea of a 'wide place' with a beautiful scene. It's my book, so I'm not as concerned with matching the text to the picture as I would be when illustrating someone else's work.

      I'm did notice the bison in the middle of the page, moved him over, lightened the sky towards the horizon a bit, extended some of the clouds and bison to overlap, and I think I'll actually add more sky than less since I want the sky to look really big and open. Thanks!

      Nat Iwata
      www.iwataillustration.com

      Kevin Longueil 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
      • Kevin Longueil
        Kevin Longueil SVS OG @natiwata last edited by

        @natiwata Hey Nat - really nice - great feel to the image - i just wanted to try lowering the sun - the only thing i was feeling was that the atmosphere was not conducive to making those rays..... i could be wrong - but i think it is when the rays of the sun are low and traveling through more atmosphere - that is when those rays seem to happen i think - mostly cut and pastes with some erasing - i know the piece is not about the rays.... and this is a minor and possibly incorrect point but just wanted to share the thought:)godrays.jpeg

        Portfolio: kevinlongueil.com
        https://www.instagram.com/kevinlongueil/

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • natiwata
          natiwata SVS OG last edited by

          Update I did a few days ago and forgot to post. Did a lot to try and polish this and incorporate some suggested changes.

          HiddenPlaces_Wide_DoublePage.jpg

          Nat Iwata
          www.iwataillustration.com

          Kevin Longueil 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 9
          • evilrobot
            evilrobot SVS OG last edited by

            Looks really good:) Nice work>

            http://www.palacioillustration.com/

            https://www.scbwi.org/illustrator-gallery/illustrator-detail/?illustrator_id=84142

            https://www.pinterest.com/evilrobot2/pins/

            https://twitter.com/MyEvilRobot

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • BradAYoo
              BradAYoo last edited by

              Yeah! This looks great! I like the extra details that you added, the grass blade up front and the buffalo fur. You did a good job balancing the subtly of detail while not making it too punchy. This looks like a portfolio ready piece. :^D=

              http://geobrd.com - https://www.instagram.com/geobrd/ - https://twitter.com/bradayoo

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • natiwata
                natiwata SVS OG last edited by

                Thank you @BradAYoo and @evilrobot !!!

                Nat Iwata
                www.iwataillustration.com

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • lmrush
                  lmrush Pro SVS OG last edited by

                  It is awesome, love it

                  Lisa Rush
                  www.lisarushgallery.com
                  www.facebook.com/ArtbyLisaRush/
                  www.instagram.com/lisarush11/

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Kevin Longueil
                    Kevin Longueil SVS OG @natiwata last edited by

                    @natiwata This looks great Nat - i think you might be done so i hope i am not annoying you with this feedback - i really liked the original and all of the changes you've made too - but something on this new version that really jumps out at me is that the Bison look like they are the same animal cut and pasted at different distances - small head tilts and two tail shapes but otherwise the same - the variations of poses on the previous paintings looked more natural to me -

                    Portfolio: kevinlongueil.com
                    https://www.instagram.com/kevinlongueil/

                    natiwata 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • NoWayMe
                      NoWayMe last edited by

                      This looks great, as always!

                      noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                      noemie_illustration on Instagram

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • lmrush
                        lmrush Pro SVS OG last edited by

                        This is why I love this school, we post, others see things we don't and we can only grow from it

                        Lisa Rush
                        www.lisarushgallery.com
                        www.facebook.com/ArtbyLisaRush/
                        www.instagram.com/lisarush11/

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • Lee White
                          Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by Lee White

                          Really nice! With this subject matter, I would consider using some perspective. Maybe spread out the clouds and layer them a bit. Group the buffalo together. This will give you more compositional elements and design options. 1460397749340-hiddenplaces_wide_doublepage.jpg

                          SVS Faculty Instructor
                          www.leewhiteillustration.com

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • natiwata
                            natiwata SVS OG @Kevin Longueil last edited by

                            @Kevin-Longueil Thanks Kevin, and yeah I totally cut and pasted then slightly modified the bison! I meant to go back and add a few more variations and some at different angles but haven't yet, good call.

                            @Imrush @NoWayMe Thanks for the comments, it's great to grow and see things improve with everyone's help.

                            @Lee-White - Thanks for the suggestions, I do see that some of the elements of the composition may be too evenly spaced. Part of this illustration in the larger book idea is that this is a remote place, in the wilderness, so I'm wondering what I can use instead of man made things like roads, poles or fences out on the pains? Maybe make the clouds more sweeping toward the camera...or variation in the grass? Hmm...

                            Nat Iwata
                            www.iwataillustration.com

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Lee White
                              Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by

                              sure, those ideas should work. Just think of overlapping things and varying the shapes and spacing as things go back. Here's another option with maybe some puddles and a body of water...1460568122293-1460397749340-hiddenplaces_wide_doublepage.jpg

                              SVS Faculty Instructor
                              www.leewhiteillustration.com

                              natiwata 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • natiwata
                                natiwata SVS OG @Lee White last edited by

                                @Lee-White Thank you for the feedback, lightning fast! Water, accentuating foreground grass, birds I really like these ideas, and they make the image less boring but keep it serene.

                                Nat Iwata
                                www.iwataillustration.com

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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