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    Treehouse WIP for critique :)

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    • NoWayMe
      NoWayMe last edited by NoWayMe

      Another update! Flat colors

      Edit: I just saw a tangent between his hair and the curtain, I will fix that!

      @Kat - Thanks for the idea of having his arm behind his head! Great idea! I went with just one arm and still holding his cup of coffee, but you're right that the newspaper was not that important in the story.
      0_1496802284305_Capture d’écran 2017-06-06 à 23.22.13.png

      noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
      noemie_illustration on Instagram

      MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
      • smceccarelli
        smceccarelli Pro SVS OG last edited by

        I love it - the storytelling is great!

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • K
          Kat SVS OG last edited by

          Love it! And I'm glad the suggestion was useful. This is a great story, very fun!

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • tombarrettillo
            tombarrettillo last edited by

            Maybe open the girls' mouths more, as if yelling loudly, over the music. And the pink shirt girl's eyebrows need to be a bit more angry (at least the left one). The Grandpa is perfect!

            https://www.youtube.com/@tombarrettart

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Doha
              Doha last edited by

              Such a fun illustration! the story is clear, the characters are really animated.

              Doha Koma

              www.Komaart.net
              https://www.instagram.com/dohakomart/
              https://www.facebook.com/dohakoma/

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • P
                pn last edited by pn

                Hey,
                The concept is very creative. I really liked it.
                Maybe if you bring some texture into the art, mainly the wood of the treehouse, give it some texture, light and shadow play, 3D effect, to bring life to the picture overall. The colours now are very flat. otherwise the concept is really appealing.

                Pranamee.
                http://instagram.com/prnaths

                NoWayMe 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • NoWayMe
                  NoWayMe @pn last edited by

                  @pn Thanks! I actually haven't start rendering at all yet 🙂 For sure I will put more textures, light/shadow... I still have many hours of work to put in!

                  noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                  noemie_illustration on Instagram

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • lmrush
                    lmrush Pro SVS OG last edited by

                    Wow fantastic idea great story telling and I love the perspective!

                    Lisa Rush
                    www.lisarushgallery.com
                    www.facebook.com/ArtbyLisaRush/
                    www.instagram.com/lisarush11/

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • NoWayMe
                      NoWayMe last edited by

                      I am working on values to make sure my focal points read well. I know it's tricky to have two focal points but I would like to have the main focal point on the girls and then the grandpa (so for a few seconds the viewer wonders what they are angry about.. Any thoughts ? Anything that doesn't read well "value wise" ? Thanks!

                      0_1497109981135_Treehouse_ B&W.jpg

                      noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                      noemie_illustration on Instagram

                      TessaW 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Charlie Eve Ryan
                        Charlie Eve Ryan Pro SVS OG last edited by

                        Really cool, he looks so relaxed! Great concept

                        Happy Creating
                        www.charlieeveryan.com

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • Charlie Eve Ryan
                          Charlie Eve Ryan Pro SVS OG last edited by

                          I think having the girls as the first read works well and I love how you pulled up the ladder too. Nice touch!

                          Happy Creating
                          www.charlieeveryan.com

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • TessaW
                            TessaW @NoWayMe last edited by

                            @NoWayMe To be honest, I see the guy first. Any one else? I think if you made that side slightly darker, with less contrast, it might help, though I'm not the greatest at values.

                            Something like this. Original is on the left.

                            0_1497116069652_Untitled-9.png

                            Website: www.tessawrathall.com

                            Instagram: www.instagram.com/tessawrathall_art/

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                            • smceccarelli
                              smceccarelli Pro SVS OG last edited by

                              I think I see the guy first - he is the biggest and has the biggest contrast.
                              Apart from that, you are crunching your value range. That can be a conscious choice (there are many wonderful pieces that only use a fraction of the value range), but here you may miss an opportunity to control your focal points. Here is an histogram of your values:

                              0_1497122057390_Screen Shot 2017-06-10 at 21.09.18.png

                              Basically, the darks (on the left) and the lights (on the right) are not populated at all. Here is what happens if you use all the range (basically, I stretched your value range so that the darks get darker and the lights get lighter - left is the original. As you can see, the effect of crunching the value range in the mid tones is like putting a haze on the picture.

                              0_1497122144167_Screen Shot 2017-06-10 at 21.11.23.png

                              You should not do this over the whole picture, as I have done - it was just to show the effect of using the whole range. If you extend your value range only where you want the focus, you can make it pop much better.

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                              • NoWayMe
                                NoWayMe last edited by

                                Excellent tip @smceccarelli !!! Thanks! 🙂

                                Thanks @TessW and @Charlie-Eve-Ryan !

                                There is probably not one correct answer to this question, but do you think I should try to have the grandpa as a second read or is it working better if he stays the first read ? I like what @TessW did with the shadows, however I was planning to add dappled light so maybe it will increase the focus on the grandpa even more...

                                Any thoughts ?!
                                Thanks!

                                noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                                noemie_illustration on Instagram

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • holleywilliamson
                                  holleywilliamson SVS OG last edited by

                                  I see the grandpa first too. I like what @TessW did too. I think having Grandpa as a second read is great. If it was the other way around I don't think it is as funny.

                                  https://www.instagram.com/holleywilliamsonart/
                                  http://holleywilliamson.com

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • MirkaH
                                    MirkaH last edited by

                                    I like the values in the last one on the right that Simona posted. With higher contrast.

                                    http://www.mirkah.com
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                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • NoWayMe
                                      NoWayMe last edited by

                                      Hi everyone!

                                      I am in the final stages of this, but I wanted you opinion on lighting.
                                      I like the dappled light, but I am afraid it is too distracting. If I want the lighting to work, I kind of have to go with dappled light since it's what would most likely happen in a tree. Do you feel it's too distracting ?

                                      Also, do you see anything else I should modify ? I still have to add details to grandpa and rework the girls a little.

                                      Thanks!
                                      0_1497648771272_Capture d’écran 2017-06-16 à 18.19.27.png

                                      noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                                      noemie_illustration on Instagram

                                      TessaW 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                      • TessaW
                                        TessaW @NoWayMe last edited by

                                        @NoWayMe Hmm, tough one. I think if you added some shadow to the edge of the boards surrounding the girls, it would bring more attention to them. I also think that if you eliminate that strong dappled light patch in the middle, it will allow us to go back and forth between your two focal points better. I'm also wondering how it would be to bring up the value of the tree house a little bit? Not sure if it would improve the piece or not.

                                        It's really shaping up! You're almost there! 🙂0_1497650205651_Untitled-4.png

                                        Website: www.tessawrathall.com

                                        Instagram: www.instagram.com/tessawrathall_art/

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • MOO
                                          MOO SVS OG @NoWayMe last edited by

                                          @NoWayMe I like it! The eyes closed and teh hand behind the head looks very relaxed!

                                          Marsha Ottum Owen

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • tombarrettillo
                                            tombarrettillo last edited by

                                            I like what @TessW mentioned about the shadows on the boards around the girls. Also, if you are going to use the dappled light, I think it needs to be brighter, about as bright as the lightest grass color. I assume this is to be a sunny day, and as large as those patches are, that would be full sunlight coming thru. Right now, the white of the "No Kids" sign, and the grandpa's shoulder are working.

                                            Or perhaps blur the dappled light mark some (and a bit brighter), and give it a more rounded leaf shape. If you google dappled light, most are blurry due to the distance between the opening and the surface being lit. You could even use it as a trail of sorts between the girls and the grandpa leading the eye.

                                            https://www.youtube.com/@tombarrettart

                                            NoWayMe 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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