Carrying out a second fall idea and looking for critique

[Sas]

@lauraa yeah that looks great! I wanted to say something about the dog and the girl not being on the same plane but I was shy and scared of mentioning it. did you finally get that photo?

[Sas]

@lauraa the foot that’s near the ground has a bit of a strange angle to it (if we are about to be very critical). I don’t know if you’d see as much of underneath her shoe. It looks like her ankle would be bent a bit inward and awkward.

[LauraA]

@sas Good calls all! Don't ever hesitate to say something because I am looking for a critique.

At first the girl's pose was more gestural, exaggerated and for effect. I wanted it to look like she was up in the air and the dog, being lower to the ground, couldn't get that high. But then today I decided that something didn't look right about it and decided that that foot just had to be hitting the ground. The foot looked right when she was up in the air, but I admit that now it's not quite right anymore. I just hadn't decided what to do with it yet, and your comment has convinced me to figure out something else. Thank you!

P.S. Something about that near arm is still bugging me, if anyone has ideas!

[juliepeelart]

@lauraa what a fun concept! The dog is really cute! My feedback it that the line of sausages looks very static and stiff, maybe some jumble or overlapping, of energy in the line. Also, maybe more interaction in general with the characters. If this were happening in real life, I would expect the dog to be looking at the sausages or trying to bite one, and the girl to be laughing and watching the dog for it's reaction and sausages to be flopping everywhere!

[Claire]

@lauraa Hi! I’m new here and have been stalking the forums for a few months and am blown away by the talent. Hoping one day I can level up to what I see here. I love this drawing and the only thing I noticed (physical therapy with kids is my day job) is that the arm/leg swing needs to be switched - opposite arm/leg move forward together in a walk or run pattern, but in the drawing her left arm and left leg are forward and the right arm and leg are back. I’m looking forward to the progress of this piece!

[LauraA]

@claire I had been wondering about that! I even ran up and down the hall a couple of times, but couldn't quite figure it out. I saw photos of both. Thanks!

[LauraA]

@juliepeelart I'll take a look at this too. Better to redraw and wind up with a really great piece!

[Claire]

@lauraa oh interesting!, now I’m curious about the photos with that running pattern... and I even ran back and forth with one arm raised to double check myself

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

Hi, Laura! The image is looking great! I’d still really like to see more of the dog’s bod though. I think it’s really just weird to cut off its body when there’s still so much space on the right side of the illustration. Perhaps you can move the girl more to the right end and have the dog’s full body on the left end. Just my thoughts. Your work still looks great though.

[LauraA]

@nyrrylcadiz @Claire After a couple of days of distraction due to teaching English, I'm going back to the drawing board with this not-quite-a-Jack-Russell I found:

I will take all of your suggestions into consideration and repost when I have a chance to rework the drawing. Thanks so much to everyone!

P.S. nyrrylcadiz, I think the cut off has something to do with my early training as an abstract artist. I just liked the pattern the cut off made on the thumbnail, but exactly halfway probably isn't the best place to do it. I'll try several new positions, including putting in the entire dog.

[burvantill]

@lauraa I think I know what’s up with her right arm. The fore arm looks too short in comparison with the upper arm. But i think the upper may be too long also. If you could just move the elbow up the arm a little giving the forearm more length and the upper, less. That might fix it. It’s looking way better.

[LauraA]

Take 2! Actually 4, because there are two versions I never posted . Still need to loosen up the sausages and of course work out a lot of details including consistent shadows for the dog, and either that's a small girl or a big Jack Russell, but want to make sure I'm heading in the right direction first. What do you guys think? Is this an improvement over the previous version?

[LauraA]

@sas And I forgot to address the foot angle fully. Will gave that some thought next!

[JennyJones]

@lauraa I really love how you have reworked the image. There is a lot of great movement and life to it. The gesture on the dog is really cute!

[LauraA]

And a quick fix, because my daughter pointed out that if the dog is biting the sausages, they're going to be taut. Still have to work out the details, though...

...who knew that illustration would require working out the physics of sausages?!

[LauraA]

@burvantill If I go back to that version, I'll work it out. The original idea was that the arm was bent in, and thus foreshortened, but if that isn't evident, it means I didn't draw something right!

[demotlj]

@lauraa I like this version a lot and kudos to your daughter for catching the physics of pulling on sausages!

[LauraA]

Thank you for your patience and help guys--I'm uploading yet another version! Something about those taut sausages was attracting too much attention for me, so I worked out a version with the dog jumping at, but not reaching, the sausages.

The sausages are tighter and jumbly-er, but in my research on the physics of flying link sausage (a limited field indeed) the string of sausages always curves a bit and acts as a whole.

I also decided that the POV is low enough to the ground that perhaps we really can see under her boot.

Any other critiques you'd like to make before I move on?

Boy, is it ever going to be satisfying to move on to color and texture on this thing! But I think that in the process, I am learning to draw much better from my imagination. And that's kind of the point, isn't it?

Thanks so much for your help!

[demotlj]

@lauraa You can see the dog's face better in this version too. I can't wait to see it colored!

[Claire]

@lauraa really like the updated version! The movement is more dynamic, can’t wait to see color