SCBWI “bloom” submission, feedback welcome

burvantill

I like 2 & 4.

ArtofAleksey

@burvantill the 2 on the right?

MichaelaH

@Aleksey I think the 4th would be the standard thumbnail where everything is clear, central, ... everybody will like it, what about going not this direction...going more some unexpected way?
I don't know what is important here, the dragon, the flower? The girl?
From these 4 I would like the nr. 3 as quadratic picture. 2 is nice zoom up.

ArtofAleksey

@MichaelaH yeah the grays aren’t going to be the actual values I’m just using the silhouettes to help me compose the shot. What do you mean by unexpected, a more interesting angle?

MichaelaH

@Aleksey I like Your thumbnails, I mean, that the nr. 4 would be the usual aproach, the dragon is lying, the girl is above, evyrthing is in balance, I am missing some pointer, what it makes to stand out. Maybe think more about what Your story should say or what is important when You understand what I mean. The 4th would be the save picture as thumbnail composition.

ArtofAleksey

@MichaelaH I see so as far as balancing the illustration the 4th one works best, but it feels too boring. Needs that factor

MichaelaH

@Aleksey Yeah this is what I mean, it is well balanced, but maybe You will find something better, if not, go with it.

ArtofAleksey

@MichaelaH cool ill take that one and play around with it more thanks

ArtofAleksey

@MichaelaH ok I think I’m on to something. I’m going to make the dragon a big hill, lean into that more. Gonna have various plants growing on the dragon and have the little girl watering the flowers on the back. The spine of the dragon is a little pathway up to the flowers.

The story I’m going for is that this dragon has been sleeping for a long time and is now covered in plants (gonna put more plants) and this little girl has been watering the plants over the years and has made a garden. I’m gonna probably add more plants on the wing and stuff too so you don’t realize this hill is actually a dragon until you look closer. The focal point will be the little girl because of the path and the hat will probably be red.

Please share your thoughts

Heather Bouteneff

I like the perspective of the second one with the star? But I think the last one is lovely and clean and still tells your story well. I think the deadline for this is the 20th too so whichever is easier for you to get done in that time if that is a factor. I'm excited to see this!

burvantill

@Aleksey yes

ArtofAleksey

@Heather-Bouteneff yeah it’s a bit last minute but im gonna try. And if i miss it i have a nice portfolio piece.

ArtofAleksey

I think the house was throwing the piece off a bit and not really adding anything

ArtofAleksey

Preliminary sketch

Heather Bouteneff

@Aleksey you got this! Something very fresh air, breezy Ghibli here, keep going!

ArtofAleksey

@Heather-Bouteneff oh stop. Thanks gonna keep going. I have to it’s due in 2 days!

MichaelaH

@Aleksey It looks really great, love the new idea

Roxana Antochi

The illustration looks very nice, I like the concept. Have you thought about flipping it horizontally, so that the focus is on the upper right? It seems as though your eye comes back to the left, although the original direction is toward the right.

Something like this. I was thinking it would also look better with some more depth, so I added some foreground plants which also help to frame it. I hope I'm not intruding on your illustration

ArtofAleksey

@Roxana-Antochi no you’re not intruding. The tail is technically the foreground element and I don’t wanna cover it because i want that to feel like a “path” leading up to the little girl at the top.

Ill try to flip it see what happens

MichaelaH

@Aleksey I like the idea with the path (tail) leading to the girl, what I would make better, the girl is almost at the edge, maybe some more free space above the girl like Roxana did. And maybe some little bridge on that part of the tail, where the wing lies?