Rudolph: December Prompt WIP

[alicia]

Or what if the girl on the left is facing more forward instead of off to the left? I’m just trying to keep you from leading the eye off the page.

[burvantill]

@Heather-Boyd @alicia
Thanx for the tips.
Here are a couple more thumbs. I am leaning towards #12.


I liked the closeness of the earlier thumbs so I tightened up the relationship between the kids. I have Rudolph prominent in her own one third space and I should be able to show enough detail in the rest to get the story across. I copied a few lines from the actual Rudolph story that I may use as well since this will be a portfolio piece.

[alicia]

I really like how #12 draws your eye all around in a circle inside the picture. I like this composition.

[burvantill]

I changed it up a bit. Still the Rudolph play story, but Rudolph is oblivious to the whispers, but her FREIND is PO'd. =)x
I kept a similar composition as the previous #12, but swooshed it up a bit for drAma.
New Thumbnails

New value sketch.
If you see anything that looks off, please let me know. The characters are place holders for the final characters, that will be more realistic.

[burvantill]

Big step forward but still in progress.

[NicolaSchofield]

@burvantill really nice how it's clear they're talking about the girl herself and it's not part of the play. Also that it's someone else doing the overhearing. I don't think it comes across why they're talking about her (if it's still the same as your original idea) but I don't think it matters. Maybe they're jealous she got the part of Rudolph. The curvy perspective also works really well.

[burvantill]

@neschof Thankyou for the comment. I’ll see if I can do something to get the idea across that they are talking about her costume.

[burvantill]

Almost there.

@neschof I made the means girls actively teasing now, does it read better?

[NicolaSchofield]

@burvantill the expression on the mean girl is perfect - I instantly dislike her!
I still think the reader is having to work quite hard to figure out why they're being mean. The costumes all look good & I think the small differences are quickly explained by my brain as being the result of the front girl being closer so we see more detail of the fabric texture. Perhaps the mean girl costumes could be a bit more obviously luxurious? Fluffy / furrier?

[burvantill]

I'm calling it. Time to turn this baby in. =)x

[braden H]

@burvantill Nice! I like how it turned out

[burvantill]

@Braden-Hallett Thank you! =)x Time to go do some light and color homework