Is there something strange about the layout of this piece?
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@Rachel-Horne I think it would help to have the sidewalk in front of the cafe--the way it is now makes my eye search all over trying to figure out what to focus on and wrapping the sidewalk around would help frame the cafe and let me know I should look at what's going on in there.
Instagram: instagram.com/natlundeen/
Website: www.natalielundeen.com -
@Nyrryl-Cadiz no, I think I’ll probably start over again. Thanks!
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@NatLundeen excellent advice- I’m going to start again with those things in mind, thank you!
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What stood out to me immediately is the interior and exterior perspective doesn’t match. That may be giving you the general feeling of something being off.
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I did not think it was weird when I saw it on Instagram earlier today. Now I stopped and looked at the image for a longer time, the comp is a little strange. I love the wonky perspective, the texture of the piece. What is problematic for me is the position of the woman in a green dress near the window. The window frame sort of aligned with a neck exactly which made the image feel a bit uncomfortable for me. But from the feel of the rest of the image, I guess "discomfort" is not the key emotion you are going for with this piece.
Another thing, The red door really jumps out from the image, but it does not pay off because there is nothing interesting to look at.
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Hello @CSmith25 - thanks for your feedback. I’m not really sure what you mean by don’t match, could you explain a bit more please, I wasn’t actually too worried about the perspective...
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@xin-li thank you for your advice, I did actually wonder about the window thing when I was painting her so I’m glad you brought it up. Also the door thing - yes, I can see that too. I’m going to start over and it’s funny because I was just reading your post about work on your picturebook and working on sketches and thought how I should generally spend longer on this stage.
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@Rachel-Horne I think what they mean is that the lines of the checkered floor inside ought to match the lines of the building and sidewalk outside. It seems like all those things should be parallel, so they should all have the same vanishing point. Right now, it looks like the lines of your floor go more or less straight up and not off to a vanishing point. Hope that helps!
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@Rachel-Horne we really should chat up a bit. I was looking at your work on Instagram today, and wondering how you think when you compose these mixed media images. I am really drawn towards papercut and mixed-media illustrations, but having a hard time figuring out how to start. hehe.
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@sarahlash Oh I see, thanks for replying
I can see how that could be strange on the eye - I quite like playing with perspective a little bit but maybe it doesn't quite work this time! -
@xin-li with pleasure! To be honest, what I normally do is the work in paint firstly and I don't know why but when I'm finished, I generally feel like there's something missing and that's when I add collage. I have loads of papers that I've collected or prepared myself and then just select them according to the kind of colours or textures I'd like to use then start snipping. What I like about it is it's possible to move things around and play without worrying about making any mistakes, it's a really flexible medium. Maybe you should just start by playing around a little, although I've got to say that your artwork is beautiful without it.
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@Rachel-Horne I like the wonky perspective in the cafe, so it didn't bother me at all!
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@sarahlash thanks
but the more I look the more I can see huge flaws with everything about this picture!! 
That'll teach me to skip over the sketching part -
@Rachel-Horne thank you so much for sharing your process. I think I have to create both time slot and mental space to start exploring with collage, and mixed media. I have been thinking about this for more than a year, and it is not happening for one reason or another. But the thoughts do not go away. So I think there is something in it for me.
I am curious. Are you sketching at all, or do you go with intuition from the start?
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@Rachel-Horne I agree. I think it’s because your eye wants to follow the line of the trees down to the girl in the window. But that’s where the picture cuts off. There’s lots above the focal point but the focal point itself looks incomplete. Just a matter of cropping. I love the style of it, though. It’s a cool piece. I don’t think anything else needs to change.
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@Rachel-Horne I think the same way about my paintings and lots of times I end up adding collage elements over my paintings. It feels like I’m using photoshop or something because I can work a piece and move things around till I get it where I want it.
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You have a very distinct style, so I just kept it loose to give an idea. The sidewalk cuts right into the building, and it does feel a bit odd that the cafe is cut off. So I extended the sidewalk, wrapped it around, shrunk the cafe, and added a little door knob. Darkened the bird on the bush to make it stand out against the grey. It's just a thought.
Edit: I lost the tree branch, that was a nice overlap. Didn't notice until now.
All my links: https://APHOTICMOTH.carrd.co/
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@Rachel-Horne I love the wonkiness perspective! I've always wanted to be able to do that but never have. It just looks wrong whenever I try it.
@CLCanadyArts has done a wonderful paint over I think which covers most of the points everyone was making. The difference in perspective also looks like it belongs now.
I agree about the window muntin cutting across the ladies neck like that. Maybe the reposition that a little?
Loving the mixed media textures going on!
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@xin-li I know that feeling, when you just have an itch that you have to follow - I really look forward to seeing what you create. As for sketching, when I was painting on canvas I just tended to paint a bit intuitively, letting things coming together on their own but since I've started trying to go more towards illustration I've realised that the sketching phase is something that's non-negotiable but I don't probably spend enough time on it, hence the mess up on the above painting
Since trying to cross over to illustration, I've developed such a huge respect for illustrators - it is seriously hard work! -
@Pamela-Fraley thanks Pamela - I'm working on the re-framing now, the more I look, the more I see how the perspective is off! Thanks for your feedback
