Help me kill my darling

Mia Clarke

@Griffin-McPherson Yeah, I think you’re on to something… I should probably take the ideas from this thread and start over on a new piece.

Miriam

@Mia-Clarke It's good to remember that you don't need to (and most of the time it's best NOT to) tell the whole story on the cover. You just want to pique their interest, so they'll pick it up & read it.

I like your character design for the girl & the magical effect on the title.

It sounds like the tortoise is part of a deus ex machina (but at least there's the foreshadowing of the girl having similar traits), so that's something I might not want to give away on the cover.

But then again — it might be nice for reptile lovers in a sea of dog books.

Maybe you could hide the tortoise among the lilies? It would be great to have it barely noticeable in the illustration, so it doesn't draw attention until they know the significance after reading that part of the story.

It sounds like you're getting a good start on breaking away. Good luck!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@Mia-Clarke hi again! Tho I love the simplicity of it all. I think you may have stripped it down too much. I think it would be great to show a clock in the bg. Also, show variation in size with the gray men. Maybe have a silhouette of the amphitheatre in the bg as well.

I’ll try to make a draw over if I have the time soon.

Mia Clarke

@Miriam I definitely think you’re hitting the nail on the head here, I’m probably guilty of what Will Terry keeps calling “over-illustrating” on this one. I think I just fell so much in love with the story that I wanted to just paint as much of it as possible.

The tortoise is a main character, so having her on the cover makes sense, I think… Plus, any chance I get to draw a tortoise, I’ll grab. I just love their little faces!

Mia Clarke

@Nyrryl-Cadiz I think you’re right. If you do have tine to do a draw-over, I’d love that!

tomparsonsart

I love the feel of this, and your style of rendering. But I was puzzled by the bowler hats before you described the story, wasn't quite sure what they were. And even after, I think they are a bit odd, with the cigar just hanging there underneath, with no face or anything else.

Take this with a grain of salt, because I'm no expert, but I'm thinking of movies or posters I've seen, where there is a villain in the dark and you can only see a silhouette with some rim light, and a glowing cigarette, and maybe the whites of their eyes. Maybe if you just had one of them and did something similar. The shapes of the jacket could be the background, interacting with other elements. I like the smoke in the background, maybe you could have it also come forward and obscure the edges of some foreground elements.

The main point is I think the elements need to vary in size more, as has been said. Otherwise It is a nice image and I love the way you draw and your texturing. I love the hand lettering also.

Mia Clarke

@tomparsonsart Thank you so much for this feedback, it helps a lot! I’m currently redrawing this image from scratch based on all the inpus, and your comment on the silhouette of the men in grey is really valuable to me, as I just did them in roughly the same fashion again in the new image, without much thinking… I’ll take your advise on board, and I’ll post my results here when I have them.

tomparsonsart

@Mia-Clarke Didn't mean to derail your progress! If you're going to keep those in, I think just even a small addition to the man or men might help clarify, like the eyes or something. Good luck!

Mia Clarke

@tomparsonsart Not derailing at all! I’ve added the silhouettes now, and it made it better.

ArtistErin

@Griffin-McPherson Yep I agree with you here Griffin, it is easier to begin from scratch and thumbnail, establish values, create your focus and develop elements from there. I know, I'm in that boat too, trying to learn to not do what always gets me into trouble when a composition just isn't working. It sucks sometimes But that said, you do have beautiful rendering techniques and I love your textures, colors, and mood...