Would love to give a critique

[A Former User]

Hi Will ,
@Will-Terry
Thank you for starting this thread. I thought about posting this today anyway. After I saw that you have started a critique thread makes things easier. This is a project I have planned for 2018. I have been working on this painting for 2 days and I feel like there is something missing that would make this whole painting more interesting. Even though there are a few objects I find it is bland. I am wondering if it's the color variations in the toys, or is it not balanced? I'm not sure. Everyone's critique is welcome!

Thank you

[MOO]

@amphailin Cute picture I am having one problem and that is the sphere above the castle. I think if you moved it to the right a bit it would feel more balanced. Even though there is a pattern to the background it still seems to be a wide "blank" area on the right that could be nicely broken up if you moved it over. Also, one other thing s that the toy trunk seems a bit too close to the corner, like it wouldn't really fit. Maybe bringing the floor line up a bit along the back?

[Will Terry]

@eric-castleman Hi Eric,

Since @Lee-White already critiqued this one I thought I'd try to talk about different things other than color.

I love the feel of this one since as you probably know I love snow!

Here's what I would change:

1. I would get rid of the clouds - I always try to avoid white on white objects - this way your white snow covered trees can silhouette against the dark sky.

2. I would gap the trees so the white rabbit can silhouette against the dark sky as well - the other non-essential rabbits can blend in with the trees.

3. I would try to vary the shape patterns in your trees - I sort of indicated it in the main tree. Yours are so uniform that the pattern is so dominant in your illustration I think it becomes distracting.

4. I would move your main tree out a bit to really hit that rule of thirds.

Thanks for sharing!

Will

[Will Terry]

@laurel-aylesworth

Thank you for posting this! It's a really nice piece and I especially appreciate your deliberate attention to the composition!

Here's what I would change:

1. Your piece is so light and airy - I think your foreground is too dark and doesn't match the middle and background. Black often scares some children's book editors and art directors.

2. If you lighten up the foreground a little you can add in some detail that I think is needed to match the level of detail in your main character. If you set a precedent for detail in the middle ground - the foreground has to have even more detail.

3. The hill that the girl is on terminates in the middle of your composition - by extending it you'll hit the third better AND give her a better chance of riding out the hill when she continues. Remember that the ground cover needs to overlap that trail as it goes out of sight.

4. Your girl is drawn well but it could be even better and this is where art buyers are going to scrutinize your image the most. Her hand seems a little large -I know right? knit picking but that's how perfect it needs to be.

5. I wasn't reading her seed bag at first until I zoomed in. "If it ain't shape - it ain't" - shape gives your viewer the quickest "read" into the story you're trying to tell.

Thank you!
Will

[Laurel Aylesworth]

@will-terry This is so great! Thank you very much for your time on this. I was worried about the foreground looking foreboding, which didn't match my composition idea, so lightening it up will definitely help. Yup, she's got a spatula for a hand - lol. I also love how you enlarged the foreground bunny as it draws in the eye more. I think someone else on the forum mentioned the abrupt ending of the hill, but I didn't understand it at the time -- but now I get it. Thank you thank you!

[MOO]

@andyg I really like how this is rendered.

[holleywilliamson]

Would love a critique on this one. Something not quite right

[Eric Castleman]

@will-terry you’re the man!!

[Will Terry]

@eric-castleman Thank you Eric - I really have fun with these

[Will Terry]

@blessings Thank you for allowing me to critique your work!

Overall you really captured the nurturing sharing time of parent and child!

Here's what I would change:

1. I think two main light sources often cancel each other out. It's easier to have one main light source and perhaps a second tiny one - if the fire has burned down you won't have shadows canceling out.

2. I would turn the chair more towards the viewer in a 3/4 view like the one I drew. I think it would help bring us into their world and fit the room better.

3. If you get good reference you can draw what I call "authentic objects" - that is - objects that have a specific construction from a specific period. When you're not sure how an object is constructed - making it up often takes your viewer out of the story you're telling. Instead of glancing past a table or chair - your viewer is confronted with a non-essential item that demands further inspection because that viewer is unfamiliar with the way you drew it. This isn't to say you can't have fun stylizing an object but it still needs to remind us of a specific object.

Thank you!
Will

[Blessings]

@will-terry Thanks @Will-Terry I like your chair idea for sure. And thank you abundantly for offering a free critique and taking time out of your busy day. I won’t soon forget it.

[Pam Boutilier]

I would love some constructive critiquing on a piece I'm working on for my portfolio called 'Accommodating Dragon'.

This is a quick digital painting I did a couple of years ago:

I love the idea and decided to rework it. Here is the new sketch with a preliminary start at a value study (though I hadn't planned to push the values quite as much as they appear here):

Before I put more hours into it and start the final rendering I'd love some feedback on the composition and what I've got started with values. I was thinking of going with a similar colour scheme as the old painting.

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!!
~ Pam

[Laurel Aylesworth]

Here's the revised version.

[Will Terry]

@laurel-aylesworth I really love all the changes - This is a really nice piece!

[Matt Baldwin]

Hi Will, I've only just returned to the forums after a long absence and I saw your post offering critique. I fear I might be too late (if so, totally cool). Here's my take on Mole from Wind in the Willows. Cheers!!

[Art Dud]

Trying to decide on shirt/shoe colors? Thoughts?

Main character for book that has just been edited! It will be published this year 2018!

[audrey dowling]

Hi @will-terry-art ,
thanks for this post!
It's the first time that I've done a piece with such a dramatic angle view, so I would love to see your take on it
Here it is at the sketch/value stage:

[Miriam]

@will-terry
I love your drawing! Having them jump off an object is a great solution. I've never heard those called a "sliding board". When I read your notes I had no idea what you were talking about until I scrolled down and saw your draw-over. I've only heard it called a slide. I wonder if it's a regional thing--kind of like soda vs. soda pop, pop, Coke, etc. My family has a book about colloquialisms and pronunciation differences across the US. It's fun to flip through. I wonder if that one is in there.

[Miriam]

@amphailin
I like how there are 3 "hats" on the floor, but the kid is wearing a piece of the castle instead. The objects on the floor are evenly spaced. You might want to consider making them more random. Maybe you could have a couple of them next to / overlapping each other.
The background is confusing to me. The wall is very unusual. Is it a mural? Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on when there's a drawing or art within a drawing. Also, what is the circle? Is it a window? Or a mirror? You might want to change to a plain background so it's not competing with your subject.

[Miriam]

@jbleau
I like the misty / cloudy moonlight feel to the background. I'm fairly new to SVS as well, and I'm also trying to figure out lighting and color. Actually, I'm such a beginner, sometimes I don't know what I should focus on first! I still need a lot of practice just on shapes and anatomy. So I'm just an amateur, but I can try to give some helpful feedback.

It looks like the only light source in your piece is the full moon behind the dog's head (and some bouncing off the clouds / mist). So the rabbit and the ground cover & pumpkins wouldn't have these bright colors from the cool, dim moonlight. The gray ground cover, bushes, and background seem much more appropriate to me. Also the "carrots" sign seems kind of awkward and I don't think it would catch the light at that angle.

I think the lighting on the dog looks good. I'm not sure about the red light underneath, though. It would make more sense if he was standing on something red. You might want to add a shadow under the dog, too. The dog's ear on the far side threw me off a little. At first, I thought it was the dog's jaw. It does work, but you might want to change the shape of the ear a little, and / or make the teeth whiter to help define the mouth. I like the energy & posture of the dog. He's doing whatever it takes to get rid of that rabbit!

The speckles at the top of the image are a little confusing. At first, it seems as if they are part of the explosion of the dog bursting through the fence. Then, I thought they were fireflies, but there seems to be a whole lot of them. I've never lived where there are fireflies, but don't they stay fairly close to the ground? They also could be stars, but I think they are fireflies. Also, do they stop glowing when there is a big noise? (Like crickets stop chirping.)

A couple of other things that aren't making sense to me are the 3 dots at the base of the rabbit's foot, and the shape of the rabbit's tail. The round shapes on the foot look like they could be the pads of the rabbits paw, but that would go under the rabbit's toes at the other end of the foot. I would make the rabbit's tail circular, oval, or round at the bottom with a slightly pointed tip. I think their tails are more compact rather than wispy / shaggy.

Overall, you did a great job conveying the story.