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    critique - storytelling problem?

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    • shinjifujioka
      shinjifujioka SVS OG last edited by

      I could totally see this as a children's book illustration. The difference in storytelling between this image and your earlier one in the thread is huge. Love the line work. The expression on the bunny is so good, as well as his running pose.

      In regards to the 50/50 issue that @Susan-Marks brought up, I can kind of see that. I think a quick solution might be to just reshape the clouds so that they aren't 50/50. There is a large shape framing the rabbit, and another one framing the house. Maybe that is adding to the 50/50 feel.

      I really like the piece!

      shinjifujioka.com
      https://www.facebook.com/shinjifujiokaart
      IG: @shinjifujiokastudio

      Jonas Zavacky 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Jonas Zavacky
        Jonas Zavacky @shinjifujioka last edited by

        @shinjifujioka Omg thanks a lot! πŸ˜‡

        Yeah that might be it πŸ™‚ I will jump on the clouds when I am at home.

        Appreciate the comment and I am happy you like it !!

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • ?
          A Former User last edited by

          This is so lovely and really suits childrens illustration! I love your composition πŸ™‚ I hope you do revisit your other illustration with the girl and the bird as it was so beautiful.
          I personally preferred your first rabbit character with the short legs, to me he had more personality but that's only my opinion! Your rabbit character works really well too πŸ™‚ His face is just brilliant and your detail is beautiful!
          I can't wait to see this in colour πŸ˜ƒ

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Jonas Zavacky
            Jonas Zavacky last edited by

            @hannahmccaffery thank you!!! :smiling_face_with_open_mouth_smiling_eyes:

            Yeah maybe I will.. I would like to see interaction between them, but in diferrent scene maybe. πŸ™‚ Haha yeah I see what you mean about the rabbit . But the current one was better fit for this imo.

            Haha mee too πŸ™‚ color is not my strong avenue so I will fight with it before I will land on something showable.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Jonas Zavacky
              Jonas Zavacky last edited by

              So this might be it... the colors are laid and that is the final touch for me.

              any comments on that before I call it done? I basically am, but I would like to hear some opinions on the colors first !! πŸ™‚

              anyways this whole process was really long so far and loved working on that and I am so thankful for every advice and comments I've got for it so far. It is a really supportive group here... ❀

              rabbit ilus.jpg

              Eli Susan Marks animatosoor shinjifujioka 4 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 4
              • Coreyartus
                Coreyartus Moderator last edited by

                Personally, I love those colors. It has an old-fashioned sense about it that hearkens back to old-school illustration and their printing processes back then--the texture/noise you've applied to the color is right on the money!! It really communicates a sense of elegant simplicity and straightforward storytelling somehow. I love it!! Gorgeous!!

                Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
                Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
                Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
                Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                • Eli
                  Eli @Jonas Zavacky last edited by

                  @Jonas-Zavacky This really turned out great!! The colors, values and composition are really working for me and I love the sketchy, storybook style. Looks amazing

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • Susan Marks
                    Susan Marks @Jonas Zavacky last edited by

                    @Jonas-Zavacky I love this. I’ll own that the style of this one is much more to my taste. I love the colors and the sketchy line work (I’m totally envious). But aside from that, this image much more tells a story than the earlier beautiful one. Score!

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • demotlj
                      demotlj SVS OG last edited by

                      I agree with what others have said β€” beautiful line work, and the colors are perfect with that style. It certainly conveys a story because of the feeling of anticipation you get from the character which makes me want to know where he’s been, and what good things are awaiting his arrival at that house. Wonderful work.

                      Laurie DeMott
                      instagram.com/demotlj

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • animatosoor
                        animatosoor @Jonas Zavacky last edited by

                        @Jonas-Zavacky Oh man, this is gorgeous, and it really is a vast improvement from the start! I can see it working beautifully in a children's book. Echoing the others: I would just keep all the sketchy lines in just as they are. They add a lot of character. The colours are working so well.

                        https://www.instagram.com/sooryajart/

                        The Beatles: "Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour!"

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • shinjifujioka
                          shinjifujioka SVS OG @Jonas Zavacky last edited by

                          @Jonas-Zavacky Love it!

                          shinjifujioka.com
                          https://www.facebook.com/shinjifujiokaart
                          IG: @shinjifujiokastudio

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • Jonas Zavacky
                            Jonas Zavacky last edited by

                            Omg, so much of positive feedback 😲 I am really glad you guys like it!
                            Thank you! πŸ˜‡

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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