Music WIP: Comments Appreciated

[burvantill]

I'm finally putting my ego in the drawer and asking for help from my art friends. I'm going to follow @Lee-White 's advice on workflow that he gave to another forum member "Looking for critique again" link text.
This is my Concept: An animal parade that the children have come upon and joined up with. I like the idea of adding more animals with instruments, but when I added the rabbit and 2 mice in the front it threw the balance of the pic off. Obviously I can move them around but I'm wondering if I need them at all, keep it simple? Or should I keep adding animals? I'm thinking I might go white on the background on this one. I've never done a just white background before so I'm not sure about that either. Definitely a plain background. I want all the focus to be on a rowdy fun parade in the front. Since the kids came upon this excitement suddenly, I'm thinking about giving the boy a bat and glove and maybe the girl some other toy, thoughts? Anyway this is my rough sketch.

[sweta roy choudhury]

Hi @burvantill, I love your concept. For the props in kids hands you can think of something that is not musical instrument, but which can create music. This will add more interest I feel.
As for the little rabbit and the two mice, you can keep them in front and vary the size of animals in between the parade. That might balance out the composition. Something sort of big to small animals.

[burvantill]

@sweta-roy-choudhury thank you . I like the idea of the kids using the stuff they are carrying to make music. I’m gonna mull that over.

[chrisaakins]

That's too funny. I literally had the same thoughts about the post @Lee-White put out for someone and am following his advice too. I personally like the depth the characters in front add. You might for balance's sake put a tall character on the other side of the girl to lend even more depth. Or alternatively, you could add another short character near the front of her feet. I really like your concept and your drawing is great.

[Chip Valecek]

@burvantill That is a fun idea, while you are moving the characters around be careful with your tangents like the drum is following the same curve and touching the girl in front. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

[TessaW]

I'm looking forward to seeing the progression of this. I like the idea of keeping the background white. Watercolor (I'm assuming you're doing watercolor?) on a white background? Yes please! If you are going with a more graphic piece, instead of the little characters in the front, why not all in a row? That will really accentuate their size difference and I think that's a lot of fun to see such different characters in a sort of lineup.

[burvantill]

@chrisaakins We are sooo lucky that those guys started SVS.
Thanx for the advice!

[burvantill]

@chip-valecek Thank you for pointing that out. I was going for an overlapped/ girl in front thing. I will watch out for that tangent when I do the next sketch.

[burvantill]

@tessaw yes watercolor! Thank you for the white background thumbs up!
I thought about leaving it simple with them all in a row, but I wanted a more chaotic feel. Just crazy fun happening! lol! No rules. So I really am going to have nail down my composition.

[chrisaakins]

If you are going for chaos, try some birds in flight or ticker tape raining down. Btw I love the repeated motif of the round circular shapes. I don't know if you intended it but it makes all the characters cuddly and friendly. It's even repeated in the drum. Points for unity! (Can you tell I'm teaching principles of design in my classes right now...?)

[burvantill]

Thank you for all of the advice!
@chrisaakins I'm glad you liked the circles cuz I added more. Lol.
Here are two more versions. We'll call them 2 and 3.
After seeing them together like this I'm going to add another balloon to both. One above the horn blowing bear. So the design gets larger as it goes back(towards the left side).

[chrisaakins]

@burvantill I love the bottom one! The top one is odd with the characters competing with the drums.

[Laurel Aylesworth]

I agree about the two large circles competing in the latest versions, but I like the two left characters in the top one because I feel like they're having a moment. It depends on what you want to emphasize though. I'm also wondering about adding some opportunity for depth with some different angles, opposed to everything in profile. I can see this happening on my street with the neighborhood kids, so that cute factor is spot on.

[burvantill]

@chrisaakins & @Laurel-Aylesworth , The circle next to the girl and otter is a hula hoop. She’s shaking because it makes a SHH SHH sound. Is that not registering? I may have to change that

[Eli]

@burvantill said in Music WIP: Comments Appreciated:

The circle next to the girl and otter is a hula hoop. Is that not registering?

I think it will when you add color.

[burvantill]

@eli That’s what I thought at first too but I’m wondering though. I’m going to leave the background white so maybe it will still be lost. I’m going stare at it and see if it changes.

[chrisaakins]

@burvantill, To be honest, I didn't see that until I looked at it on my laptop. Maybe turn it so that it is more of an ellipse?

[Laurel Aylesworth]

@burvantill I thought it was a bass drum for a couple seconds, but then I saw the hula hoop. Great idea there.

[braden H]

It took me a moment, but the hula hoop indeed registers as a hula hoop. Like others have said once colour is added it should pop more.

Overall I think it's much improved from the initial sketch. The raccoon with the bass drum and the second bear in the background with the snare have some real nice movement to them.

[burvantill]

Thank you all so much for your critiques. They are definitely helping. I am now on to the next stage of Lee White's recommended process, Value. I did several value sketches and they are all slightly different. Let me have it. I will not cry and I won't get mad. I am ready for it. I have a favorite but I'm not saying in case it totally bad. LOL. PS. this is my first time doing value sketches like this so its possible I'm doing it wrong.