Update: Treehouse WIP Witch one works better?

[Leontine]

@aska Thank you, perhaps Ill change it a bit, so it wil be clearer.

[Leontine]

how about this?

[NoWayMe]

@Leontine, I agree with everyone about #3 I like the original version better than the modified one.. Even with the bottles on the rod, it looks like he is fishing them (and it looks a little odd). I think the problem is that if he wanted to put them in the water, he would just throw them... I think the story is really good if he is fishing for the bottles, but if you want him to be the one who put them there, then I would get rid of the fishing rod completely and just have him throw a bottle out of the window.

[smithdraws]

@Leontine This does read as the character sending the bottles out. Cool concept. Maybe keeping the bottles on a trawling line increases his chance of getting help (if that's his intent). Does he need help because his boat is broken? If so could the boat come to the foreground and maybe have a smoky motor? Your art really has some cool story possibilities.

[Leontine]

@smithdraws Thank you! The Idea was, 'the guy ' was shipwrecked and got stuck there. He has used part of his boat to make himself a house, but as time passes, the island is getting smaller and smaller... or perhaps he really wanted to stay, at first, but he gets lonely and decides to try and call for help ?

[MOO]

@Leontine Actually, I didn't get that. I thought he was fishing FOR a bottle...which really doesn't make sense when I think about it Sending out bottles makes more sense Nevertheless, I didn't really get it. Sorry.

[MOO]

@Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen I think NoWayMe has it right. Just toss the bottles in and get rid of the fishing line and rod.

[tombarrettillo]

@Jose-Ramos mentioned the foreground being a bit empty, and I agree. Maybe instead of a large bottle, how about moving the shipwreck to the foreground, which would help clarify the story and why he is tossing bottles, and add some interest. Would guide the eye a bit better. Right now the shipwreck is fairly hidden behind the hill.

[Leontine]

@Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen XD

[Leontine]

How about now... ?

[aska]

Its cool, but perhaphs consider puting the falling bottle a bit lower so it doesnt overlap with the house

[smithdraws]

@Leontine Wow there was even more to the story than I thought

[Leontine]

@aska I did, wait till you see the finished version!

[Leontine]

Please vote for your favorite entry:

[Chip Valecek]

I like the night version, great job on both. You should do all four seasons with it.

[ambiirae]

@leontine I really like them both but I think the day time one appeals to me more cause I can see the details better

[aska]

Both are great, but i think nite one speaks more to me;) its the atmosphere of loneliness plus bottles

[TessaW]

I like the night scene, but kind of want to see a bit more warmth and intensity cast on the man and house from the lantern. Really cool illustration!

[tombarrettillo]

wow! nice job. Hard to pick, but I lean toward the night scene. I would put the moon where the sun is in the daytime version. Also, back to my previous post, I still think you need either more boat showing behind the island (with some highlights to help define its shape), or to bring the boat to the front, especially in the nighttime version. As it is now, it is hard to see the boat. I might also add a couple motion lines to emphasize the bottle's movement downward. I like all the small details like the cat, laundry, etc. Very nice!

[NoWayMe]

I also like the night scene better in term of storytelling! I agree however that you need to push the lighting more (either warm light from the light you already have, or cool light from the moon which I would put as @tombarrettillo said where your sun is in the daytime version. I also agree that we need to see more boat.

Amazing work!