Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    December WIP - feedback really appreciated

    Artwork
    13
    25
    1362
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Neha Rawat
      Neha Rawat last edited by

      I love your concept! I love the little details you've put here with the tiny astronaut and the planes. And the story is on point!

      I just have 2 things to add:

      1. The floor line is slanting down to the right and it's throwing me a wee bit off. It looks like the room is tilted and since the attic roof is also slanting and the characters are also leaning to the right.

      2. The moon looks like it's right up at the window. How about shifting the moon to the left edge of the window (remove the window door if required or you can put one open on the other side) so that there's some breathing room on the right side between the moon and the window.

      I'm really looking forward to see this in color! ๐Ÿ™‚

      https://www.nrbstudio.in/
      https://www.instagram.com/nrbstudio.in

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • xin li
        xin li last edited by

        Thank you so much. So many constructive and actionable feedback.
        @Kevin-Longueil @Coley Thank you so much. I will play a bit more with the design of the moon.
        @idid @peteolczyk thank you. I hope I get to finish this one before the end of the month :-).
        @danielerossi I had one more image with these 2 characters I have done earlier this year. I have no story for them yet. But I want to develop a few sequential images for my portfolio, to make it looks like it could be a book :-),
        @Debra-Garcia Really good catch with the tangents. I will definitely work on that.
        @Neha-Rawat I want to avoid having a straight line for the floor, to add a bit more energy. But maybe it is too much. I will try out another way.

        Web: www.lixin.no
        IG: www.instagram.com/lixin.illustration/

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • xin li
          xin li last edited by

          moon crops.jpg

          An update on the WIP:
          Which comp works better for you?

          I am very unsure about the color of this piece. I might end up doing a mono-color piece for now due to not having enough time to explore the color at this moment.

          Web: www.lixin.no
          IG: www.instagram.com/lixin.illustration/

          burvantill braden H peteolczyk idid 4 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 7
          • burvantill
            burvantill Moderator @xin li last edited by

            @xin-li i like the vertical format. #1

            Lisa Burvant
            www.lisaburvant.com
            Instagram & Twitter & SVS: @burvantill

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • braden H
              braden H @xin li last edited by

              @xin-li My vote's for #1. It gives me a nice sense of height, which I think is necessary to make the moon comfortably in the sky ๐Ÿ™‚

              Awesome work. I think it would look great mostly monotone with small spots for the characters and moon ๐Ÿ™‚

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • xin li
                xin li last edited by

                @burvantill @Braden-Hallett thank you for the feedback. Now I am ready to paint this piece :-).

                Web: www.lixin.no
                IG: www.instagram.com/lixin.illustration/

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • peteolczyk
                  peteolczyk @xin li last edited by

                  @xin-li I agree with @Braden-Hallett i think monotone would work out really well. maybe adding a little colour to emphasise the places you want peopleโ€™s eyes to bounce around.

                  www.peteolczykillustrations.com

                  www.instagram.com/pete_illustrations

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • LauraA
                    LauraA SVS OG last edited by

                    I only just saw this, but really like the take on the prompt and agree that the vertical version is the way to go. Good luck with the finish!

                    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauraintorino/
                    http://lauraaldersonart.com/

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • idid
                      idid @xin li last edited by idid

                      @xin-li Lovely concept! 1 works better. however, you may want to consider make the comp a little bit more dynamical. Right now this image has a tendency of being symmetric (a big trangle, with things distributed almost equally on its left and right) and thus being stable instead of dynamical. Change the position of the boy and objects in front of him should help. Shifting the position of moon a little bit may help, too, from my perspective.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • xin li
                        xin li last edited by

                        @peteolczyk and @LauraA, thank you for the feedback.
                        @idid Definitely good point, I will see what I can do.

                        Really not sure if I will make it on time this month. But I have a lot of fun coming up with ideas for this prompt. If I run out of time, I will paint it in Jan :-).

                        Web: www.lixin.no
                        IG: www.instagram.com/lixin.illustration/

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • I
                          IanS last edited by

                          Comp 1 for me. It's looking great!

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Nyrryl  Cadiz
                            Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG last edited by

                            Definitely 1. The moons is just well framed in that one.

                            Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
                            Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
                            YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • First post
                              Last post