February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!

chrisaakins

@Braden-Hallett I can't help but see the girl as a pregnant woman looking out the window with a really bad denim skirt creating a tangent. It took me some study to realize its a blanket. Sorry! Blame it on my old eyes.

braden H

@chrisaakins lol fair enough! I think minus the teddy bear may make it clearer

xin li

@Braden-Hallett I also thought it was a woman leaning towards the window the first time I saw this image. I think the shape of the blanket looks a bit like a woman's dress.

I really love your concept, but there is something not working for me in this image: I think since you are choosing a very minimalistic style for this image, anything you included became very prominent. I am not entirely sure why there are a blanket and a toy truck in terms of the story. I would consider a mini spaceship, instead of the truck for example.
I would also work a bit more on the shape of the spaceship window. Right now the overall shape is a bit distracting for me. My brain is trying to figure out what those dark shapes are before I notice the main character.

Hope this makes sense.

braden H

@xin-li Absolutely makes sense! It's amazing how important silhouette is and how often it's actually something entirely different unintentionally (I'm amazed I haven't accidentally silhouetted something naughty in my work yet. That I know of...)

I was thinking blanky and jammies meant bedtime The toy truck's just a toy that may make it into the bedroom. I like the idea of a kid living in space having a bedroom that's very normal and distinctly UN space-themed. Goodness knows if I were woken up early for spacewalks every bloody day I wouldn't want a toy spaceship.

I think the original thumbnail worked, so I'll go back to that as well as another version where it's obviously a very standard messy bedroom.

Either way back to the drawing board!

Thank you for the feedback

burvantill

@Braden-Hallett i agree with your reasoning about the toy truck, but what about a futuristic dump truck? If there is space tech enough to live there, then we have had to have made improvements for our moon construction vehicles. Plus it’s an opportunity to design something cool. ...

chrisaakins

@burvantill ooo. 1 point for Lisa, 0 points for Braden.

braden H

@burvantill said in February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!:

@Braden-Hallett i agree with your reasoning about the toy truck, but what about a futuristic dump truck? If there is space tech enough to live there, then we have had to have made improvements for our moon construction vehicles. Plus it’s an opportunity to design something cool. ...

opportunities to design cool things IS always fun. Points well taken

@chrisaakins said in February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!:

@burvantill ooo. 1 point for Lisa, 0 points for Braden.

I keep my own score, good sir! I appear to be 19 widdershins past the final turnstyle and WELL ahead of the on-par rabbit seeker. At least until the 19th 1/55th half game.

braden H

Makin' some small changes. I think the direction the balloons are travelling is more readable now. Also, tall chimneys are best chimneys

alt text

Coley

@Braden-Hallett nice. This is going to be awesome. I think at first read the falling night could be read as hills. I’m sure that will change as it progresses. If it was a little transparent maybe near the top or sides it might help. Also I think with the one on the right where there are stars in the falling night and in the sky it helps with that transparent look . Such a cool idea

braden H

@Coley said in February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!:

nice. This is going to be awesome.

We'll see! This is usually where I screw up monumentally

braden H

Super duper light sketch! I may skew the moon a bit so it looks like it's still settling into place

alt text

Coley

@Braden-Hallett I've never seen your screw ups but maybe you hide them away! ( I know I usually do lol)
The drawing is awesome. I love the vertical format

Heather Boyd

I have reached the bottom and now I am feeling my feedback is a tad late....
I think you should name your WIP tradition something like Hallett Holiday Tradition or something.

A at the beginning and now I've lost track after so many reworkings did have an element of drama.

B really does fall for me with all the energy created by a waterfall but maybe elements of good and bad dreams poured out could be interesting in general.

C perhaps adding an additional element of "night" on the inside because the kid could stay in his pjs all day or just be having a nap. - really like the addition of the planet!

D is cool but I felt more night coming down like window blinds and less on the fall part. That said white space is cool but maybe have the night pouring over the umbrella like rain instead of how you have it.

My preference is the space one "C" because in part my nights are sleepless waiting for Star Trek Discovery to return (not really), I am drawing astronauts / dreaming up scenarios and for the art reason I like the negative space being white.

Zzzzzz;

part way through the night she remembered what she thought about her friend's work. "braden" she says barely conscious, "you are awesome, you get two done, where i struggle to get one in". THE END

braden H

@Heather-Boyd said in February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!:

I think you should name your WIP tradition something like Hallett Holiday Tradition or something.

The Hallett travelling roadshow's work in progress palooza?

B's monthly trainwreck?

Fumbling for values and colour harmony in A flat minor.

Thanks for the feedback It's never too late!

braden H

Work progresses

alt text

ArtofAleksey

@Braden-Hallett very nice composition

braden H

@Aleksey Thanks! I'm likin' how the trees point back to the badoons.

Nyrryl Cadiz

@Braden-Hallett i love it! It may be too dark tho. Also, this remids me of a Filipino folklore of how the world got its color. It goes something like when the world was created, the gods decided to give color to everything in it. The red god gave red, the orange god added orange, the third yellow and so on and so forth. Until all that was left was the black god. Seeing everything already had a color, she colored the sky black and hence forth created the beautiful night sky.

braden H

@Nyrryl-Cadiz said in February contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always welcome!:

It may be too dark tho

Absolutely! This is gonna be a 'slowly raise the levels' kinda image, I think

And that's an awesome story. I love creation myths. They're all so different yet all so very similar.

braden H

Work progresses!