@robbery Great start! Cool concept 🙂

would experiment with separating the outline of the head and the scene. see attached image.

Tone down the lined shading on the computer *Top Left

Vary the linework to bring the computer room forward.

I hope that helps.

dcd39083-9b83-4eb5-a790-64ab03dbe0b0-image.png

I finished the writing, and here are the rough to semi finished illustrations. How can i improve the way the pictures and words work together? Is the story bubble in the last illustration distracting or confusing? If so, any ideas how i can clarify it? Would it work if i took the bubble out

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Page_2.jpeg
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@carlianne Yes, it was from a photo reference. Thanks for the critique.

@Coreyartus Thank you so much! Your post is super encouraging, I'm really glad you liked it and that it reads as it does for you. Making art can really put you in a weird place sometimes where you can't see things as other people do anymore, so I really appreciate the feedback here.

I hadn't thought of doing an illustrated version of the play to be honest, but it might be a fun idea!

As for text, yes, I would like to put at least a title on, but haven't quite worked my way around to that piece yet.

Thanks again for taking the time to leave the feedback!